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Inside: Cultural Sausage. ~ Ludic Lists. ~ Skullbucket. Outside: Hi!
I'm back. How was your weekend? Mine was joyful and nearly
fatal.
"wedding photo Palace of Fine Arts" "masturbating pixels" "tattoos on a woman's butt" "song my expiration" "Skechers squeak" "Miss June Romper Room" "nostalgia marketing" "deadly horse fuck" |
01.11.2005
December 26, 2004 SRI LANKA (AP) -- Tens of thousands of people throughout southeast Asia are feared dead after a devastating series of tsunamis, caused by the occurence underwater of the most powerful earthquake in five decades, struck coastal areas throughout the region. Governments and emergency service organizations all over the world are scrambling to identify the victims, rush medical aid to survivors, and assess damage to property and infrastructure of a dozen nations, including Thailand, Indonesia, India, Myanmar, and Sri Lanka. The latter nation is feared hardest-hit, with entire villages disappearing from the map and thousands of people missing or confirmed dead. "It's the most devastating catastrophe in decades," said Harold Diffenbach of Disaster Aid Asia, a non-profit organization based in Toronto, Canada. "We're hoping that people throughout the globe will find it in their hearts to dig deep and do whatever they can to help those who have suffered because of this terrible tragedy." January 13, 2005 SRI LANKA (AP) -- Another catastrophic tsunami touched down in this already-battered south Asian nation this morning, as a series of destructive aftershocks were triggered miles below the surface of the Indian Ocean. Sri Lanka, already in dire straits following the initial assault of late December, is pleading for aid in the wake of the disaster, noting that in addition to their own losses, hundreds and perhaps thousands of international relief workers have been lost. Although seismologists and other experts initially predicted that aftershocks would not be a serious problem after the December 26th earthquake that left over 150,000 people dead, their assessments have been proven wrong after this newest catastrophe. The few vacationers who remained in the once-bucolic islands and coasts of southern Thailand are fleeing home by whatever means possible, while travel into the most devastated areas is next to impossible. Initial death counts are still sketchy, but the eventual toll from the combined natural disasters may eventually top 300,000. "It's impossible to understand this sort of devastation," said Harold Diffenbach of Disaster Aid Asia, a non-profit organization based in Toronto, Canada. "I mean, these people have already suffered horribly, and now to be struck with the second tsunami because of the aftershock, it's almost incomprehensible. Add to that the rebel fighting, the drought and lack of drinking water and food, the disease, and all the other factors...we're just hoping that the citizens of the world, having already been so generous with their donations, will find it in their hearts to dig a little deeper and help out the people who have suffered so much." February 22, 2005 SRI LANKA (AP) -- Stunning experts and causing world leaders from every nation to suppress snorts and giggles or roll their eyes in frustration and disbelief, a huge spaceborne metor touched down in the Indian Ocean just southwest of this small island nation, triggering a third tsunami which is feared to have taken the lives of thousands more people. Further cursing, flagrant mockery, and helpless shrugs have been caused by an incipient political revolution, a massive outbreak of typhus and mad cow disease, a series of freak hailstorms and a huge forest fire. Government and private organizations are rushing to determine exactly how many goddamn people there are in Sri Lanka, anyway, and how there could possibly be any of them left after all this, as well as why anyone should care. A Reuters poll of Europe and North America determined that despite the hundreds and thousands of deaths, a full 91% of those polled would rather get cancer than ever hear the word 'tsunami' again. Relief agencies are withdrawing by the boatload, claiming that Sri Lanka is pretty much a writeoff at this point and should be considered in the same breath as Bhutan, Bangladesh, and the other loser countries that get hit by a natural disaster every five minutes or so. "You know what? Fuck those people," said Harold Diffenbach of Disaster Aid Asia, a non-profit organization based in Toronto, Canada. "Seriously, it's my job to make sure people in dire straits get cared for as much as possible, but this is fucking ridiculous. What's next, an alien invasion? It's always something with Sri Lanka. I call people and I'm actually embarrassed to ask for any more money because, you know, they're all, like, when is Sri Lanka going to get its shit together? I've actually started telling people it's for Myanmar or Argentina or whatever country, because I can't stand seeing people cringe when I say it's Sri Lanka again. So guess what, Sri Lanka? Sucks to be you. You're on your own, sad sacks." |
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| TODAY'S DRIFTWOOD: "When you are in a minority, talk; when you are in a majority, vote." (Roger Sherman) |