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LUDIC LOG
01.25.2005

"Hey, Jerry."

"Hey, Mark.  Got a second?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"Well, I wanted to ask...when is my review scheduled?"

"Uh...about, what, five months?  So, June?"

"I was wondering if maybe we could talk about a raise.  Before that."

"A raise?"

"Yeah.  I'm thinking about buying a condo, and, let's face it, I work really hard."

"I dunno, Jerry, I..."

"I'm not saying I want some huge raise.  Just like ten percent or so, maybe.  Plus a cost of living."

"You've only been working here since last Wednesday, though."

"I know, and I don't expect to be an exception to the standard procedure or anything, but let me make my case here."

"Uh...okay."

"I think I've added a lot of extra value to the company, first of all, by some of what I bring to the table."

"Like what?"

"Well, first of all, I ride a motorcycle to work."

"...uh huh?"

"So that frees up a whole parking space that could be turned over to production facilities."

"Did you do due diligence on this?"

"No, but I think a cost-benefit analysis would...I mean, look, at the very least we could put a soda machine there."

"All right.  Is that it?"

"I spearheaded the whole Kellerman project."

"Kellerman?"

"That was my baby, from beginning to end."

"Are you talking about those files that Jeanette had you photocopy the other day?"

"The Kellerman contract made us over two hundred and fifty grand."

"You photocopied it."

"Exactly."

"That's..."

"And mailed it."

"Okay, but..."

"Well, not really mailed it, but I put it through the postal meter."

"I don't know, man."

"I've been working through my lunches."

"Doing what?"

"Organizing your filing system."

"How?  What's wrong with my filing system?  It's alphabetic."

"It wasn't after I started organizing it.  I decided to organize it by purchase order number."

"Why?"

"But it turned out that didn't work very well, so I went back to alphabetical."

"Oh."

"It took days."

"How much did you want again?"

"Ten percent."

"Huh."

"Plus COLA."

"Okay."

"Fifteen, tops."

"Send me an e-mail proposal, how about that?"

"It'll cost you."
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