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Inside: Cultural Sausage. ~ Ludic Lists. ~ Skullbucket. Outside: Ludic
Log 3rd Anniversary Week continues. Thanks for your patience in
how sporadic these updates have been in coming.
"'you forgot Poland' meaning" "Method Man big dick" "who is hotter, Starfire or Blackfire?" "plaque conspiracy" "bad-ass Jeeps" "Armenian sude sude" "famous black American aphorism" "this is a test, it's only a test" |
02.01.2005
With the Ludic Log's 3rd anniversary mere days away, it's as good a time as any for another "Adventures in Referral MegaMix"! We started Adventures in Referral (over there, on your left) as a way to track some of the odder, funnier, more baffling, and often more disturbing search engine referrals that sent people to this site. Over the years, we've developed a pretty good demographic profile of the average Ludic Log reader: a male, age 13-45, lazy, possessed of truly grotesque sexual appetites, obsessed with seeing bits of the anatomy of imaginary women, and keen to be doused in any number of generally undesirable bodily fluids. The bad news: this site's most loyal clientele are deviant, perverted nerds. The good news: since deviant, perverted nerds are not a desirable market segment, this site will continue to be completely free of advertising! From time to time, we take a look at the all-time most popular search engine referrals that have resulted in the most click-throughs to this site. We like to call this an "Adventures in Referral MegaMix". Have a tall creamy one today. #1. "JOEY HEATHERTON NUDE". Since we last looked in on Adventures in Referral's historical trends, a generation has come of age. It's a generation with its eyes on the future, but with a keen appreciation of the past. That means it's forward-thinking and web-savvy, but like previous generations of visionary technophiles, it also likes titty. And with the ironic hipster leanings of Generation Y always mining the past for inspiration, it's no surprise that today's nerds are pulling it to pictures of a washed-up '60s platinum blonde who hasn't worked steadily since the first Nixon administration. There are, of course, no nude pictures of Joey Heatherton anywhere on this site, but thanks anyway, fellas! #2. "M.O.D.O.K." Now, let it never, ever be said that I want to discourage people from coming to my site in search of M.O.D.O.K. I love M.O.D.O.K. There have been numerous occasions in my life when I wished I was M.O.D.O.K. But, hey, geeks, there's much, much more to this site than mental organisms designed only for killing! There's bizarre, formless, half-jokes that go nowhere! There's incredibly tedious photographs of me, drunk and reflected in bathroom mirrors! There's pointless, bile-filled political screeds which offend half my readership and bore the other half! There's lists that seem funny until you actually read them! There's links to other websites even less-read than this one! Come for the M.O.D.O.K. -- but stay for the ludic! #3: "CUBS SUCK". Well, there's just no way to finesse this one: the Cubs do suck, and it makes me swell with pride that so many people out there in internet-land are coming to this site with that very important realization already in their hearts. The only question is, do the Cubs suck less now with Sammy Sosa gone, or do they suck more? On paper, you could argue that their suckiness has actually increased: they've lost a lot of steroid-fueled offensive production, they got less in the trade than they would have if they'd made it with a bunch of Amazon jungle-dwellers, and their bullpen is still so bad that it would have been improved by putting Sammy in it. But personally, I think they suck less. They've removed an influence in their clubhouse that gave cancer a bad name, they can squeeze in more commercials on WGN now that they don't have to waste airtime on that asinine trot-tap-point-kiss routine, and they've returned Sammy Showoff to the American League, which means that White Sox fans like me will get to see him more often but be denied the thrill of truly hating him, because he doesn't play for the shit-ass Cubbies anymore. They don't suck so much less that they have stopped sucking, but now they're like the Nazi party without Hitler -- still bad, sure, but it's not like the old days. #4: "ROUGE THE BAT NUDE". Continuing this site's tradition of failing to provide masturbation fodder to bored nerds, the #4 referral for the last fiscal quarter is "Rouge the Bat nude". Thanks to some alert Ludic Log readers, I now know that Rouge the Bat is a female character in the Sonic series of video games, and since we are, after all, dealing with geeks, female = let's see her titties. I think if I were explaining the internet to someone who had never heard of it, I could tell them my feelings about it quite succinctly by mentioning that my site got a vast amount of traffic from people searching for naked pictures of an animated electronic bat who hangs around with an animated electronic headgehog. #5: "SHE-HULK NAKED". The winner and still all-time champion of Ludic Log referrals. If I never accomplish anything else in my life as a creator, I will at least go to God knowing that I was unable to provide sweaty losers with crack-off fodder in the form of an unclothed, green-skinned mutant. Thanks for visiting the Ludic Log, and I love you all. |
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| TODAY'S DRIFTWOOD: "All of us, whether guilty or not, must accept the past. It is not a case of coming to terms with the past. That is not possible. It cannot be subsequently modified or undone. However, anyone who closes his eyes to the past is blind to the present. Whoever refuses to remember is prone to new risks of infection. Seeking to forget makes exile all the longer; the secret of redemption lies in remembrance." (Richard von Weizsacker) |