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THE INDICES
Some choice selections from the archives of the Ludic Log

THE BEST OF THE LUDIC LOG:
  the best of the Ludic Log

THE CRAPPYS:  
a celebratory selection of the world's worst food

THE DIALOGUES: 
humorous back-and-forths

THE GEEK INDEX:
  recaps of comic book encyclopediae

RECEIVED IDEAS FOR A NEW MILLENNIUM:
  a compendium of cliches for our times

BILLY'S PRISON DIARY:  
a collection of thematic short fiction

HIPSVILLE: 
selections from an aborted urban novel

THE GUNS OF CAMELOT:  genre fiction for your inner geek

ADVENTURES IN REFERRAL
a daily assortment of random search engine queries leading people to the Ludic Log in the past 24 hours

"naked hooters"

"give yourself a mohawk"

"Donovan Flint Star Hunters"

"she hulk xxx"

"ascii coffin"

"trump bald"

"mad woman monologues"

"School of Hard Cocks"

"enchantd her lips"

"Jack Kirby's Morgaine Le Fey"

02.18.2007

 
Ah, Sunday!  Another day of rest, another easily downloadable seven-pack of exciting songs for your listening pleasure (click here, 25MB .zip file).  Today's theme:  the head holes.  As Lewis Black reminds us, music goes in your ear, and video goes in your eye.  Big-fuck difference.  But what about the rest of the things growing into, curling out of, and attached to your head?  Let's take a look, or rather, a listen.

TRACK 01:  "Mouth Breather", the Jesus Lizard (from the Goat album).  He's a nice guy, you know?  You got nothing against him.  It's just he's a mouth-breather.  We've all got someone like that in our lives, don't we?  In my case, it's me.  Anyway, this is a terrific track, from the Jesus Lizard's most solid record; recorded, as were all their best records, by Steve Albini, it features some tremendous vocals by David Yow -- removed from his normal shrieking and rasping, but still a powerhouse of a tune.  The precise guitar figures in this one remind me of Today is the Day and Time in Malta; the post-hardcore people are a lot more influenced by the Chicago industrial-punk sound than is commonly admitted.

TRACK 02:  "Golden Throat", Barry Black (from the Barry Black album).  The nearly-forgotten Barry Black, which was Eric Bachmann's transitional period between the demise of Barry Black and the rise of Crooked Fingers, was a largely instrumental band.  Well, not even a band, really; every one of the hundred or so loopy instruments played on Barry Black and Tragic Animal Stories  was played by Bachmann himself.  It was a strange transition, too, and not many people took to it:  fans of the pummeling, jagged alterno-sound of AoL found it too quirky and quiet, and people who took to Crooked Fingers found it lacking in character or purpose.  It's a shame, too; I think it's some of the best, albeit oddest, work of his career.  This is a rare vocal track.

TRACK 03:  "You Painted Your Teeth", Jandek (from the Telegraph Melts album).  A fine example of Jandek's first electric period, this one features the man from Corwood hooting and hollering like there's no tomorrow, making a fine transition from his early 'John Fahey run through a blender' phase to his mid-period 'the Legendary Stardust Cowboy after a paint thinner binge' phase.  He's in fine fettle here, and after the hysterical high point of his shrieking and wailing, you'll realize you have just spent three minutes of your life that you will never get back listening to an insane Texan implore you not to paint your teeth.

TRACK 04:  "Punch in the Nose", Sebadoh (from The Freed Weed anthology).  Appearing first on the Weed Forestin' album, this is one of those tracks that really should be categorized as a Sentridoh song -- no one is in evidence but ol' Lou Barlow, honking on a horn and self-loathing like there's no tomorrow.  This one combines Lou's ultra-lo-fi recording aesthetic with his love of Residents-style ripping off of other tunes just enough that he doesn't have to pay anyone any royalties.  Can you spot which song Lou was listening to before he boked up a huge bowl and committed this snappy little toe-tapper to two-track?

TRACK 05:  "Insect Eyes", Davendra Banhart (from the Rejoicing in the Hands album).  If Lou was a little younger, a little less into week and a little more into LSD, and if he wound his guitar strings a little tighter and listened to a little less Velvet Underground and a little more Nico,  he might have been Davendrea Banhart.  As it is, the job fell to Davendra Bahnart himself, and this is one of the most memorable songs from his debut album, a creepily sexy little acoustic number that recalls PJ Harvey's darker moments in the lyrics and the Incredible String Band working at half capacity in the music.  Oddly enough, I recently heard this very song in the trailer for The Hills Have Eyes 2, or perhaps my brain was just screwing with me.

TRACK 06:  "Springfield, or, Bobby Got a Shadfly Caught in His Hair", Sufjan Stevens (from the Avalanche:  Outtakes and Extras from the Illinois Album collection).  The fact that this fantastic number got left off of Come On Feel the Illinoise! gives you an idea, even if you've never heard it, how good that record was.  It's hard to imagine a song this good, with a more freewheeling, 1970s style than most of Stevens' slightly twee pop, not ending up on the record, but as the Avalanche outtakes collection makes clear, there were at least two and maybe three albums worth of good songs in that recording session, leading me to believe that the "50 States" project isn't quite so much a pipe dream as it might seem.

TRACK 07:  "The Walls Have Ears", Elvis Presley (from the Girls, Girls, Girls soundtrack).  Truth to tell, I actually nabbed this not from its original source -- no way in hell am I going to dedicate precious stealing time to getting the soundtrack to Girls, Girls, Girls -- but from the black-market anthology Elvis' Greatest Shit.  Which, honestly, should give you a pretty good indication of its quality.  The song actually has its moments, most notably in the paleo-Stomp environmental percussion, but the overall feel of the song -- a dumbass honky tango featuring lyrics created after taking a concrete block to the head -- means it will forever occupy a space next to such King Krappy Klassiks as "There's No Room to Rhumba in a Sportscar" and "Dominic the Impotent Bull".

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"If anything can survive the probe of humour it is clearly of value, and conversely all groups who claim immunity from laughter are claiming special privileges which should not be granted." (Eric Idle)