LUDIC LOG

Oh, boy, are you all gonna get slit up a treat this time. A few of you -- an insane, reckless few -- have asked for pictures of me, and I have wanted for quite some time to indulge my lifelong habit of taking pictures of myself in bathroom mirrors. So, here you go: The Ludic Log's Foto Friday presents My Crapper Diary!

Saturday, Mardi Gras party at Colledge Station. I was still sober at this point, as you can see from my still-crisp appearance. This would quickly change.

Later that night. By now, I've been hitting the brandy milk punch pretty heavily, and I am even puffier than normal, having eaten about two pounds of etouffe. Note the beads, from the 1968 Bacchus crewe.

Even later that night. I don't really remember anything that happened after this.

The first in a series of photos taken in the bathroom mirror of our apartment on Sunday. I was dry-humping the camera that day, I tell you what.

More Sunday. Now you're a butterfly! Flit around the lens! Flit, flit!

Sunday, continued. Look at my incredibly tiny nose! What kind of half-Arab am I, anyway?

Sunday continues. Yaar, I'm a pirate gangster!

And finally, the last of Sunday. Could this entry be any less interesting? Aren't you incredibly sorry you asked me to post pictures, now that you know how egotistical and unattractive I am?

Monday morning. I just got into the office when I took this, hence the winter gear. This is the nicest of the three bathrooms where I work, the one for the office employees.

Later on Monday. Screening room in downtown Chicago for a critic's showing of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. (It's really good.) I felt a brief panic that I would get in trouble for having a camera at the screening.

Tuesday. The hallway mirror in our apartment. Okay, technically it's not a bathroom mirror, but it's right next to the bathroom, and it doesn't have heroin works all over the floor.

Wednesday at work, in the tool room bathroom. The stack of papers under my arm constitutes photographic evidence that I occasionally do some work at work.

Another shot from the tool room bathroom. Despite appearances, I am not actually urinating while taking a picture of myself. Or am I?!?

Thursday, Biasetti's. A friend of mine and I had dinner at this spiffy little bar & steak joint, and I figured I'd get in a bathroom shot. Unfortunately, the bathroom mirror is tiny and the room was badly lit, and that's why I look like a goblin in this picture. And not at all because I am a very ugly man.

Today at work. This is in the break room bathroom, which is far and away the filthiest and most disgusting of all the bathrooms featured in this entry. Despite its rampant yuckiness, though, some of the guys eat their lunch in the bathroom. Bleah.

Well, there you go! Now never ask again.