LUDIC LOG

A recent McDonald's commercial (yes, I know, but they're unavoidable) says to me "Whether you're celebrating Disney or looking for a good deal, you might just discover...each other. Join us at McDonald's salute to Disney's 100th anniversary celebration."

Now, normally, I don't allow myself to be thrown into such a tizzy of cognitive dissonance by the doings of the nation's advertisers, but this one, I have to admit, really put me in a spin. First of all, I am posited as the sort of person who goes to McDonald's for one of two reasons: (a) to celebrate Disney or (b) to find a good deal. Now, there may be something to the latter motivation; there have indeed been times where I have said to myself "I have almost no money, and yet I feel the need to stuff myself with processed meat and cooking fat in some combination." This could be, I suppose, construed as "looking for a good deal". But I have to wonder if there exists anywhere in the world -- even in the phantasia of a Madison Avenue copywriter -- a man or woman who, in a passing moment of contemplation, formulates a chain of thought that even remotely approaches "I am of a mind to celebrate Disney. To this end, I will now go to McDonald's".

Second, what in God's name is a salute to a celebration? Is it like a remembrance of a memorial? Or a declaration of an announcement? I can't even fathom what a salute to a celebration might entail, let alone imagine why it would be taking place or why I would want to be involved in it in any way. I realize I am letting my suspicious nature get the best of me here, but I have reason to suspect that a salute to a celebration is, at heart, the selling of extremely crappy products peripherally related to marginally crappy products.

At any rate, I'm afraid that due to the bafflement the whole concept caused me, I won't be celebrating Disney, or helping Disney celebrate itself, or joining McDonald's salute to Disney's self-celebration. Frankly, I don't even know if I can finish this Shamrock Shake after all this.