LUDIC LOG

Common wisdom (as ever, neither common nor wise) has it that there are two conversational topics that are strictly verboten: religion and politics. The latter is pretty easy to understand; nobody wants to find out in the middle of a perfectly civil chat that their co-worker is a nihilist, an unreconstructed Stalinist, or a two-time McGovern voter. The ban on religion is a bit antiquated, though: in our modern world, where booting Catholics is relegated to the auld soil and injecting a friendly "it's God's will" into a conversation raises nary an eyebrow, mentioning religion in a casual conversation will only get you in trouble if you're something zany like a Jain or a Muslim or one of those bone-in-the-nose African religions.

Strangely enough, economics, and the topic of money in general, is considered quite fine. Why is this strange? Because if one is unfortunate enough to encounter one of those odd birds who has unconventional views on the subject, the potential for social awkwardness is far greater than if you happen to run into a devotee of Shintoism or a recidivist Reform Party conventioneer. And I'm not just talking about the way that people's jaws get, like Orson Welles had tried to hike up their foreheads, when I mention I don't have a bank account or credit cards; I'm talking about much simpler things.

Let it slip, for example, that you don't own any stocks -- or worse yet, that you don't want to own any stocks -- and you usually get a rather choice speciment of the farted-at-the-debutante-ball look. Say that you don't really care how much money you make, and that you're not interested in putting in extra hours at the office because you'd rather have free time than money, and you might get asked what your problem is in a voice with a fist behind it. Express your opinion that you find discussion about the market sort of boring, and you've committed a much more serious gaffe than if you made it known that you're a member of the Green Party. And religion may still be called the most taboo of all topics, but quite frankly, I am positive that people would react less badly to a co-worker announcing she was a Satanist than if the same co-worker announced she wasn't a capitalist. I mean, say what you will about Anton LaVey, at least he had a diversified high-yield stock portfolio.

It's too bad that this informal ban still exists. I'd rather talk about anything than hear people natter on about their latest consumer purchases, the career-prep track their children are on, or the awe-inspiring, recession-proof nature of their investment tableau. Politics, at the very least, are easy to make fun of, and while I'm no God-booster, he has inspired greater art than any other fictional character. Religion inspires, and politics incites; money just pushes you around.