LUDIC LOG

"Well, it's a thought."

"Don't be so dismissive. I really think this is the way to go."

"It seems a bit extreme."

"Extreme situations call for extreme solutions. Surely we can't allow conditions to continue in this way. We suffer constant humiliation, sir. We are outcasts in our own land."

"Obviously, I agree."

"And are things going to get better? Ever?"

"Well, possibly when we graduate..."

"Never."

"I can't imagine that they would follow us to college and continue bullying us."

"Never."

"Especially if they have a heavy course load."

"Never."

"I mean, perhaps if they were on scholarship..."

"And who gets the lion's share of scholarship money, Dylan? Athletes."

"I hadn't thought of that."

"You weren't thinking."

"Well, so, revenge. All right. I'll grant you that. But what else? Revenge seems a bit lacking, as motivations go. The press will have a field day."

"There's the whole negative publicity angle, I suppose."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, for example, name a video game you don't like."

"Hmmm. How about 'Doom'? It's rather played, and as technical and graphic progression goes, I think it's quite overrated."

"And now a band. What band don't you like?"

"Ryan, you know the answer to that. If Rammstein never makes another album it will be too soon."

"So, we do this, and we scatter a lot of Rammstein records around our bedrooms, and download some Quake skins onto our hard drives, and who gets the blame?"

"Clever."

"I thought so, thank you."

"We'll need more than that, though. What else have you got?"

"Well, I should think it would be obvious."

"Nothing is obvious to me at the moment. This Old Milwaukee has gotten the best of me."

"Fame, old son, fame."

"Aaaah. I see what you're getting at. Our names on CNN, our faces on the cover of Time, the-world-shall-never-forget-this-day. It's a good angle."

"It's a great angle."

"All right, damn you. It's a great angle. But let me ask you this."

"Anything."

"Is there any way we might be able to become famous other than shooting up our school?"

"I can't think of any."

"Nor can I. Let's do it."

"Splendid."