LUDIC LOG

(AP) - A national bioterrorism drill for hundreds of firefighters, police and other emergency workers began Monday with a mock explosion of a radioactive "dirty bomb" in a car in a Seattle industrial lot.

"Morning, Wilson."

"Morning, Captain! Ready for the big drill?"

"As ready as I'll ever be, sir. The simulation has been planned down to the last detail. I think it's all going to go as smoothly as can be hoped."

"That's the attitude I like to hear, Lieutenant."

"Still..."

"What?"

"Oh, it's nothing."

"There's no such thing as an unimportant detail in a situation like this, Wilson. What is it?"

"Well, sir, I couldn't help thinking. We're spread pretty thin. Every fire, police and emergency unit in the city is on the alert for this mock attack, and the media as well as all the city spokespersons have told everyone in the greater metropolitan area not to panic because it's only a test."

"Yes? What's your point?"

"It just seems to me that if a real terrorist wanted to attack, he couldn't pick a better moment than right now."

***

"All right. This is it, Wilson. The big day."

"Finally!"

"It's taken six more weeks of preparations. And it wasn't easy, especially during a budget crunch, to keep those consultants on staff to come up with a simulation plan based on the scenario of a terror attack right before a terror drill."

"It's all worth it, sir, when you think of the lives that will be saved."

"I couldn't agree more, Lieutentant. So are you ready?"

"Ready indeed, sir! I just hope..."

"Hope what?"

"Have we been in contact with Portland, sir?"

"Why would we be in contact with Portland? What's going on in Portland?"

"Nothing! Nothing at all."

"If you have something to say, then say it, Wilson."

"Sir, if I was a terrorist, and I heard that the town I had targeted was having not one, but two simultaneous drills, I would head over to the next biggest town and hit it as hard as I could, because I would know that no one in the whole region would be watching it. It's just a thought."

***

"Two months, Wilson."

"I know, sir."

"Seventeen million dollars."

"I know, sir."

"I had to lay off my brother-in-law, Wilson. My wife is not happy about it. When my wife is not happy, I am not happy."

"Sir, the cost in human life could be incalculable. Think of the children. Can we afford not to be prepared?"

"No. Obviously we can't. But, I mean, this is it, right?"

"Absolutely, Captain."

"No last-minute objections from you."

"Not at all."

"We're going today. We're going to have the test. And we've covered all the bases. For the drill. That we're going to have. Today."

"Yes, sir."

"Good."

"Tomorrow, on the other hand..."

"What?"

"No, no! We're ready! Everything's fine!"

"What about tomorrow, Wilson?"

"Some people -- now I'm not saying this, Captain, just some people -- would say that we've put so much into today's drill, you know, worked ourselves into such a frenzy of preparedness, that if a terrorist was going to attack tomorrow, we'd be caught completely with our guard down. Could be messy."

"Wilson, do you own stock in a security company or something?"

"Not much, sir."