LUDIC LOG

to hear henry tell it them people just about controled the whole world. somtimes wed be down over to lances diner grill and tommyd be readin the paper and hed up and talk about how this or that, you know them jews are behind it. and tommyd say naw you say that about everything but henry always had an anser. me i didnt talk much cause on account of i had to help mamma i never learnt how to read but henry he went to libarys and gun shows and the like and was always bringin around sum book. so he would say all the landlords in the citys they was jews and all them bankers they was jews and all the wars got started they was started by jews so as to kill off a bunch of white christians and make it look like they done it to themselves. and i gotta admit that the way henry explained it it made a lot of sense altho sometimes i couldnt figure out how come if it was such a big secret henry new about it. but he could always explain it right.

anyways when he won that radio show contest on WLAX he said it was a dream come true. see he listened to the sports shows on WLAX and one day he comed around hollerin about how hed hit the jackpot so we axed him you win the lotry hank? and he says naw i won this contest on the radio show. two tickets all expenses payed to the big apple to see the braves play the mets. and tommy says hell henry you dont even like baseball. and he says dont you get it boys? the big apple! that means new york city only he dont say that he says it jew york city like he always done. he was always sayin jew york city and the jew york times and the dishonorable senator from the state of jew york and what have you. see the way henry figgered it this would be his big chance to get up there and show them jews what run the country that he was wise to all their games. he didnt plan on hurtin nobody i swear to you.

but it so hapened that henry axed me to go along with him cause it was two tickets all expenses payed and he tole amanda she had to stay home with them kids and sides she was pregnant agin so she couldnt travel nohow. and i said shore hank but why me? and he said dammit billy you bin like a son to me all these years and you dont want to grow up in a world where them jews pull a fast one on you do you? and i said no sir nosiree and to tell you the truth i was proud that he tole me i was like a son. so i got the week off at the gulf station and off we went.

on the plane he was explainin on account of i axed how could you tell a jew. and he says well usually just from lookin. or if a guy owns some newspaper or a media or what have you that guys shore to be a jew. but if otherwise you didnt know most jews got farb or stine or burg in their names. some lady on the seat acrosst from me give us a dirty look while he was sayin that and i got worried maybe she was a jew but henry says naw she aint no jew. i says how can you tell? and he says cause she aint sittin in first class. we had us some lafs about that.

by the time we get to the hotel we was pretty tired and henry looks around, he says lookit this place. so fancey you know a jews gotta own it. and i said you sure we should stay here then henry? and he says yeah its comin outta hook-noses pocket wed be fools not to. the next day i thot we could go out and see that empire state buildin or the brooklyn bridge or the statue of liberty or sum of that teevee shit im sorry i dont mean to swear but henry he wants to get right at tellin off the jews. so we go to this bank and this newspaper and sum place i think he says its an insurance compny and demands to talk to the presidents but we just get throwed out. when we get back to the hotel hes pretty sore and i said hey hank why dont we go see a broadway show or somethin? and he says naw all them shows are up in niggertown. and i says i thot we was here to flush out the jews. and he says them jews use the coloreds for muscle. it sounded kinda crazy to me but he says what was all them security guards who threw us out of them buildings today so we couldnt see the head jew in charge? and i said they was all colored fellas. and when he explained it like that it did make a lot of sense.

next day wes running around in some neighborhood with a buncha fellas with funny hats and beards lookin kinda like cowboys and henry says we right in the heart of jew york city now. and he commence to yellin at all these characters how hes onto their little game and they best believe that theres gone come a reckonin when the white man takes back whats his. so he grabs this one character and says you one of the five familys? and this fella says in a funny kinda accent no, hes a moyel or somethin. and henry asks what that is and the fella tells him and let me tell you i thought it was sorta funny, but henry didnt think it was funny no sir no sirree.

before i knew what was up we were in some part of town with a bunch of coloreds and i said hell henry its gettin dark aint we gonna go see that braves game? and he said fuck the braves billy. what did we come here to do anyways. and i said well we aint had much luck showin up them jews maybe we oughta quit while were ahead. and he says the hell i will thats just what they want. next think i know hes talkin to some colored kids and i says what were you talkin about? and he says just takin care of business. and i said but them boys was niggers. you tole me they was the jews muscle. and he says billy sometime you gotta use the enemys strength agin him and he shows me how he bought a gun off one of them colored boys. and i says hell henry what you gonna do with that? and he says im gonna show them im onto their little game. and i said where we goin? and he said you wanna find them jews you go to where the money is. and i said you aint thinkin about robbin no bank are you henry? and he said no i aint dont you worry about that.

i didnt know them jews ran the diamond business sir. i swear to god i didnt want no one to get hurt.