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Inside: Cultural Sausage. ~ Ludic Lists. ~ Skullbucket. Outside: "Chuck Taylors without socks" "ASCII art breast" "hillbilly comics babes" "describe eye sense" "Louis-Ferdinand Celine criticism" "bootlegging and terrorists" "William Wordsworth works" "short superheroes" |
06.16.2004
no God I wouldnt give a snap of my two fingers for all their learning why dont they go and create something I often asked Duckie earthbags or whatever they call themselves go and wash the good side of the tracks off themselves first then they go howling for the principal and they dying and why why because theyre afraid of detention on Saturday on account of their stowing a flaregun in their lockers ah yes I know them well who I just want them to know that they didn't break me I can remember lots of things and I know why guys like you knock everything its because youre afraid who was the first person in the library before there was anybody who it was that one girl with all the black shit under her eyes ah but they dont know neither do I so there you are you might as well try to stop your grandmother from feeling you up he was feeling me up that day we were lying among the torn and shredded pages of Moliere on the scratched up tabletop me pretty in pink and he with the denim jacket and my diamond stud in his ear they day I got him to ask me out yes it was really human of him to listen to all my bullshit I gave him a bit of my sushi seaweed rice and raw fish and he said you wont accept a guys tongue in your mouth but youll eat that yes 16 years ago my God I can't believe this they forgot my fucking birthday after that long kiss I near lost my breath I felt it in my knees I felt it everywhere yes he said I was a stuck up rich girl yes so we are all stuck up rich girls and I hate it I hate having to go along with everything my friends say yes that was one true thing he said in his life and he was only saying it to get a rise out of me yes that was why I liked him because I saw he understood or felt what a woman is but if somebody doesn't believe in me I cant believe in them and I have him all the pleasure I could leading him un till he told me I was a tease and I said I didn't do anything and he said thats why you're a tease I was thinking of so many things he didnt know of East Texas and of the facts of life and of Mrs Drummond and wild horses and all of my boyfriends three big ones and they lusted for wimp blood and the Spanish girls laughing in their shawls and their tall combs and that record I made when I was six years old I wanna be loved by you I sang yes boop boop be doop and the jews and the Arabs and the devil knows who else and I had a really low tolerance for dehydration but the principal wouldn't provide any milk his hair salt and pepper like dandruff falling on a ballpoint pen drawing and yes those handsome boys named Blane and John and Jake telling you you have a fat girls name and the geek I cant believe I gave my panties to a geek to show off to his friends in the bathroom yes the bathroom where I learned to do that trick with my lipstick and we stayed so long we missed the bus I loathe the bus there has to be a more dignified form of transportation O that awful deepdown torrent O and the sea crimson sometimes like fire and the Dongers here for five hours and hes got somebody I live here my whole life and Im like a disease yes and all the queer little duck and pink and blue and yellow houses and the back of a car and the library and on the table lit by candles where I was a birthday girl and thanks I said thanks for getting my undies back and thanks for coming over he said thanks for coming over thanks for coming to get me he said and happy birthday he told me to make a wish and he kissed me as the soundtrack swelled and it already came true I said and I thought well as well him as another and he leaned in and then I asked him with my teeth and biting my lower lip I said to kiss me again and then he asked me would I say yes to say yes youre a total faggot and yes yes thats it exactly and yes because youre letting me Jake I said as well Jake as another Jake yes I said yes to Jake and yes to all such Jakes and I drew him down to me so he could see my hair red like that lipstick and his heart was going like mad like it was the last major role hed ever have and Jake I said Jake I will Jake. |
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| TODAY'S DRIFTWOOD: "It may be that the deep necessity of art is the examination of self-deception." (Robert Motherwell) |