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Inside: Cultural Sausage. ~ Ludic Lists. ~ Skullbucket. Outside: "trees of the south song" "teeth plaque conspiracy Metallica" "dago tee" "pee on me" "what is varistors?" "keep og og alive" "towelhead" "Quentin Tarantino innovative pastiche" |
06.24.2004
Short content day today thanks to prior commitments, but do allow me to present: the all-time top ten search engine referrals to the Ludic Log! Gosh, I'm excited, aren't you? 1. "teeth plaque conspiracy Metallica". All praises due to Andy Knight for getting the ball rolling on this one. The popularity of this search proves that stoned 20-something guys will do anything an anthropomorphic milkshake tells them to; I am currently attempting to get the Cartoon Network staff to add the line 'PayPal Leonard Pierce $50' into a Harvey Birdman script. 2. "baby bears baseball team". This one has seen a huge upsurge in referrals with the Cubs-White Sox crosstown classic coming this weekend. Its popularity as a search term proves two things: Sox fans think it's incredibly lame to root for a team called the 'Baby Bears', and Cub fans don't. 3. "MODOK". Referring to the one, the only, the mental organism designed only for killing. The popularity of this referral teaches us one simple but invaluable lesson: MODOK is awesome. 4. "Benzino Lisa Raye". This one is perennially popular around these parts, even though Benzino's Source-propped career is floundering even more than it ever has. You might think the popularity of this string proves the enduring power of Benzino, but personally, I think it proves that Benzino spends a lot of time Googling himself. 5. "NAMGLA". Now, originally, I used NAMGLA -- a play on NAMBLA, the North American Man-Boy Love Association, only involving girls -- as a joke, and I had no idea such an organization actually existed. Apparently, either it does, or there are a whole bunch of people who wish it did. The reason this term is popular? The internet is a sewer. 6. "pee on me". I didn't even use this one in a sexual context. It was, in retrospect, a very ill-chosen pun for my recap of the DC Who's Who issue involving characters whose names begin with P. I'd like to be charitable and say the popularity of this search term is attributable to fans of Strangers With Candy looking for the script to the memorable 'Dizzy the Baby' episode where Amy Sedaris says it, but I think it's more likely that a lot of people like to bee peed on (see above, 'the internet is a sewer'). 7. "kids contests". Hey, you mooching freeloader kids! You can't read my web log. It contains inappropriate-for-children language such as 'skull-fucking', 'pee on me', and 'Vincent Gallo'. The popularity of this search is probably attributable to the fact that there are a bunch of cheap parents who don't want to spring for a new Hot Wheel for their brats. 8. "Liz McKenna". Liz McKenna is a good friend of mine, but I'm not sure if all these hits are coming from people looking for her site (as delightful, witty and not at all infrequently updated as it is) or from people looking for some other nerd named Liz McKenna who apparently writes Christian-themed King Arthur/Camelot fan fiction. Because, I mean, they can't be the same person. OR CAN THEY?!? 9. "Rouge the Bat naked". I get this one a lot, and I have no idea what it means. I don't know who Rouge the Bat is, and I don't know why people want to see (him/her?) naked. Is it a real bat? If so, why would anyone want to see a naked bat? Or a clothed bat, for that matter? Or is it some kind of command, as I first thought when the referral showed up many months ago -- that is, an admonition to take off all of one's clothes and apply rouge to a bat? I haven't got a clue, but frankly, I'm pretty certain that I'm better off not knowing. 10. "she-hulk naked". Did I mention, above, about the internet being a sewer? |
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| TODAY'S DRIFTWOOD: "Architecture is a social act and the material theater of human activity." (Spiro Kostof) |