LUDIC LOG

Hey, Ludic Log fans!

Do you enjoy writing?

Would you like to have your writing exposed to literally dozens of people every day, only some of whom are looking for reviews of the new Benzino album?

Do you own a copy of Who's Who in the DC Universe Volume X?

Have you got little or nothing to do for the next two weeks?

Then this is your big chance!

The management of the Ludic Log, the web log ranked Google's #1 non-pornographic site with "dick" in its name, is on vacation from Thursday, July 3rd to Monday, July 7th, and we're looking for guest columnists to fill in the gaps during those days. And you might just be selected as one of those lucky guest columnists!

What's so lucky about it? Here's what. If chosen, you'll receive: a link to your website on our insanely popular Ludic Links pages; a chance to have your writing exposed to hundreds, if not thousands, of eager readers who may or may not exist; an exciting free gift in the mail just for you; and an entry in a special prize drawing to win your very own item of official Ludic Log merchandise! Holy mother of pearl, has there ever been a more exciting reader participation event in the history of the internet? I think not! I think most assuredly not!

This is no joke! All you have to do is write up a Ludic Log entry, and e-mail it to me at contest at ludic kid dot com or via the link below. I'll pick the best entries and post them here either right before I get back or right after I return, and you'll not only get crazy mad love from my battalions of devoted fans, but you will win an actual really for true free gift which I will send you in the mail and a chance at a piece of crappy junk with my logo on it! It's a goddamn golden opportunity!!!

Write something for me. I beg of you. It will be fun. Here's some suggestions:

- A DC Who's Who recap for Thursday the 3rd. If you have  DC Who's Who volume 10, you can simply thumb through it, write down a few typo-riddled wisecracks about the contents, and win a free gift! Just for reading a comic book! Christ!

- Some demented political screed for the 4th of July. Everyone loves a demented political screed! And if you send one to me, you win a free gift!

- A couple of lists for List Saturday. I usually post a few lists, rarely more than 5 and rarely more than 5 items per, on the site on Saturday. Letterman's staff cranks these things out like they're spitting! It's incredibly easy! It's not even like writing a real entry, and you win a free gift for doing it!

- A link for Link Sunday. I don't even write an entry on Sundays; I just post an allegedly "highly entertaining" link. That's right, folks: all you have to do is send me the URL of some random website and you can win a prize. If you pass this up you must be some kind of a beetle-browed moron.

- Anything you want! It's not like anyone ever knows what the hell I'm talking about around here anyway, so write anything you want: an interview; a bewildering unfunny half-joke of a sketch about Hannah Arendt going on a double date with Himmler, Goerring and Leni Riefenstahl; a fragment of a novel or short story you started once and never got anywhere with; a profanity-laced tirade about how much you hate the Ludic Log; a piece of unattributed dialogue about robots; what-the-fuck-ever! It'll get you a prize, some respect, and my eternal gratitude. DO IT! What have you got to lose? Nothin'.

Our last two reader participation events have gone from dismal catastrophe to slightly less-dismal failure. Won't you please help make this one a success? Send me an entry for the Ludic Log's Vacation Guest Columnist Throwdown! Not a joke! Come on already! This is gonna be fun as hell!