LUDIC LOG

"Stop tormenting me, you ridiculous contraption!"

WHAT IS THE MATTER WILLIAM-WORDSWORTH CANT YOU THINK OF ANYTHING

"You know deuced well that I cannot concentrate on my art with your infernal chattering."

OH SO ITS MY FAULT IS IT WILLIAM-WORDSWORTH YES THAT MUST BE IT AND NOT AT ALL THAT YOU ARE A BIG HACK

"A hack? What on...look here! I haven't the time to quarrel with you, you ludicrous tin box. I'm trying to finish 'Surprised by joy', and you're not helping."

NOT LIKE I HELPED WITH THE WORLD IS TOO MUCH WITH US EH WILLIAM-WORDSWORTH

"Pish and tosh. You did little more than cosmetics. I would have had it eventually. I didn't need you, you rattle-trap."

YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTEN IT EVENTUALLY HA HA DO NOT MAKE ME LAUGH WILLIAM-WORDSWORTH YOU COULDNT EVEN GET PAST THE FIRST LINE

"In fact, in retrospect, I rather fancy my original version better than yours."

YOU MEAN THE ONE THAT STARTED THE WORLD IS TOO MUCH WITH US LAH DEE DAH IS THAT THE ONE YOU MEAN WILLIAM-WORDSWORTH YES THAT WAS JUST GREAT YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE WITH THAT ONE

"Listen, you clattering sky-junk! You are but some base mechanical gadget who claims to be a ro-bot from the future, whatever that is meant to mean, while I am one of England's greatest poets!"

NOT TO MENTION YOUR GLORIOUS POSITION AS OFFICIAL STAMP DISTRIBUTOR FOR WESTMORLAND YOU MUST BE VERY PROUD WILLIAM-WORDSWORTH

"It allows me to underwrite your precious brass-polish, you devilish toy. I don't recall you complaining about that. Now, help me think of something that rhymes with 'power'."

MAN WILLIAM-WORDSWORTH SERIOUSLY

"What?"

HOW MANY WORDS ARE THERE THAT RHYME WITH POWER WILLIAM-WORDSWORTH GOD YOU SUCK I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I BOTHER

"The sentiment is mutual, you metallic cad! Oh, had I known my life would be laid seige, daily tormented by a nagging ro-bot no bigger than a Bible but containing far more mischief! I would never have left Cumbria!"

HA HA HA WILLIAM-WORDSWORTH HA HA HA

"I fail to see what's so amusing, creature."

YOU SAID CUM-BRIA WILLIAM-WORDSWORTH HA HA HA

"What do you find so hilarious about that, pest? It is a respectable clime. I myself hail from Cockermouth."

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA OH MAN YOURE KILLING ME WILLIAM-WORDSWORTH HA HA HA COCKERMOUTH MAN

"That does it! I have had my fill of you! Silence your shrill chattering, futuristic ro-bot, and torture me no more! I shall brook no more japing from the likes of you!"

THAT IS FINE WITH ME WILLIAM-WORDSWORTH MAYBE I WILL LOOK UP YOUR FRIEND SAMUEL-TAYLOR-COLERIDGE I AM SURE HE WOULD LIKE TO HEAR FROM ME AGAIN

"Coleridge! That...that betrayer! That mystical bottle-nose! You wouldn't!"

OH WOULDNT I WILLIAM-WORDSWORTH I BET HED LOVE TO SEE ANOTHER GOOD ONE LIKE THE ONE ABOUT THE ALBATROSS I GAVE HIM THAT TIME

"No! No, I beg of you! I...I don't know what I would do without you, ro-bot."

PROBABLY GO BACK TO RHYMING TRANQUILITY WITH THAT ONE GIRL WHO WORKS DOWN AT THE MILL AND ME I WOULD GUESS WILLIAM-WORDSWORTH

"You've won this time, damn you. But my day will come."

OH IM SURE IT WILL WILLIAM-WORDSWORTH IN THE MEANTIME HOW ABOUT THIS EVEN FOR THE LEAST DIVISION OF AN HOUR

"Perfect! You have come through again, ro-bot. I scarcely know how to repay you."

THINK NOTHING OF IT WILLIAM-WORDSWORTH SAY HOW ABOUT TELLING ME A STORY ABOUT THAT TOWN YOU GREW UP IN WHAT WAS IT CALLED AGAIN

"You mean Cockermouth?"

HA HA HA OH MAN WILLIAM-WORDSWORTH WHAT A SUCKER