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07.11.2002
MORE SELECTIONS FROM
"LIFE'S
LITTLE CONSTRUCTION WORKER:
Wisdom from
the Lips of Our Fathers and Their Drinking Buddies"
"Always carry
a rubber in your wallet because hey, you never know."
~
"If you don't
show your face, you can't get punched in it."
~
"Wear your
hat right, not backwards like some gangbanger or punk."
~
"If you can't
take a day off to catch a ball game every once in a while, you
might as well be dead. Unless your team sucks."
~
"Meat is
good to clog up your colon, but it's also good to blow out your
colon. I read it in Reader's Digest."
~
"You really
ought to bang that girl."
~
"If you're
having your picture taken and some guy makes those rabbit ears
behind your head, it's okay to kick his ass."
~
"Only flip
someone off or call them an asshole if they're too far away to
hear you or do anything about it."
~
"11 AM is
more than early enough to wake up on a Saturday, unless you're
hung over in which case 3 PM is fine. If you have to go to church
or watch a football game on Sunday morning, don't go to sleep
the night before -- just stay up all night drinking."
~
"The water
in drainage ditches will make you go bald if you drink it or
wash your hair with it."
~
"Never marry
anyone you wouldn't want to screw three nights a week."
~
"Oh, for
chrissake."
~
"Whites are
superior to all other races. But that doesn't mean you can't
nail their women, as long as you don't tell anyone about it."
~
"Once you
hit forty, it's okay never to shave again."
~
"Beer is
best; whiskey will do in a pinch. Liqueurs are for pansies, unless
they're flavored like spearmint gum."
~
"The garage
is used for tools and car storage, not for porn. Keep your porn
in a sock drawer or under the mattress like you're supposed to."
~
"Keep a rifle
in your truck at all times in case some creep tries to give you
shine."
~
"Classy dames
are all the same. They all just wanna get banged up the ass by
some bull-stud spearchucker."
~
"The team
sports, in ascending order of wimpiness, are: football, hockey,
baseball, basketball and soccer. Only communists and children
play soccer."
~
"Smoke. It
makes you look tough."
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| Quote of the Day: "Let
every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no
power but of God: the powers that be are ordained by God. Whosoever
therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God:
and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation. For
rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. Wilt
thou then not be afraid of the power? Do that which is good,
and thou shalt have praise of the same." (Romans 13:1-3) |
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