LUDIC LOG

"I ain't doin' it, skip."

"You're selling yourself short, kid."

"I'm gonna make an ass out of myself out there."

"You're a legitimate All-Star. Nobody deserves to be there more than you."

"I ain't doin' it."

"Give me one good reason why not."

"I'm gonna look like an idiot!"

"You're gonna do fine. Look at Boone last year. He didn't hit any, and nobody booed the guy. It's all for fun, kid."

"What about the game? I oughtta save something for the game."

"Forget about that. You'll have plenty. You're probably only gonna see an inning in the game anyway."

"This is stupid. I ain't gonna do it."

"You damn well better do it! You owe it to to the fans..."

"The fans. They don't want to see me out there. They want to see one of the big names, the sluggers. You think they want me in the goddamn Derby? They didn't even vote me onto the team."

"You're right, they didn't. I selected you. Me. Maybe you don't think you owe anything to the fans -- fine. But maybe you owe something to me, kid. I had faith in you. I selected you for this spot. I got you onto the All-Star Team, and I got you into the Home Run Derby. I did you a favor."

"Hey, skip, don't do me no favors, you know what I mean? You gave me the chance to be a fuckin' laughingstock."

"Look, kid, why don't you have a little confidence in yourself? You're a great player. I'd put your numbers up against anyone in the league in the clutch. I don't know why you gotta be so down on yourself."

"Skip, it's the Home Run Derby! You have no idea what kind of pressure that's gonna put on me."

"Oh, I don't, huh? I was in a Home Run Derby, you know. Back when you were in short pants. I know what it's like. And let me be honest with you, because I want you to know how I feel about you: you're a better player than I was. I did okay when I played in the Derby; so will you."

"I won't do it. I can't do it."

"Kid, for Christ's sake. You've got twenty-six home runs."

"But, skip..."

"Twenty-six at the break."

"But, skip..."

"What? What?!?"

"I've got twenty-six home runs on my career."

"Well...that's pretty good for a pitcher."

"I'm not doin' it."

"I hope you know how many little kids you're disappointing."

"Twenty-six?"

"Nobody likes a smart-ass, kid."