|
|
|
|
Inside: Cultural Sausage. ~ Ludic Lists. ~ Skullbucket. Outside: Today's entry is for Dave Saperstein. "CUBS SUCK" "cut off a toe" "will you give me a blowjob?" "what's the best tuna jingle?" "moo hammed" "Charles Manson alternate history" "SEXY DRAW CHARACTER" "food too salty" |
07.20.2004
A new production of Jesus Christ Superstar is being mounted in New York, focusing on Judas Iscariot's past as an armed zealot and his role as the fiscally conservative treasurer of the disciples. (wire report) Judas stands on a hillside, watching his friend and mentor Jesus Christ mixing among the people. As the crowd cheer his name, Judas sings the opening number, "Heaven On Their Minds", in which he wonders if Christ has strayed too far from his original teachings. My mind is clearer now At last, all too well, I can see where we are financially If you counterpoint Our losses and gains You will see where we are fiduciarily Jesus! You've started to believe this holy roller shit You're spending far too much, we've hit a deficit And all the good we've done will soon be swept away You've begun to run up debts we can't afford to pay! In "Strange Thing, Mystifying", a scornful Judas confronts Jesus on the company he keeps -- in particular, Mary Magdalene, who Judas believes isn't the sort of person with whom the would-be savior should be seen. It seems to me a strange thing, mystifying That a man like you could waste his time on women of her kind Oh, I appreciate her MBA, sure But if you do as she says and margin-buy, we're really in a bind It's not that I object to her profession Traders are very well and good if you haven't got a plan But I'm a graduate of Nazareth School of Business I've been an analyst for years, and also, I'm a man As Mary attempts to soothe the troubled brow of the Lord, Judas interrupts their idyllic sojourn by challenging her behavior -- and Jesus's self-indulgent attitude. Woman, your fine ointment, brand new and expensive -- I bet you bought it retail I know a guy out in Judea named Larry Sells for half off without fail Our profit-loss statement, our end-of-year earnings Matter more than your feet and hair! Wracked by guilt and self-doubt at his decision to turn Jesus over to the high priests Annas and Caiaphas, Judas sings "Damned for All Time" as he desperately attempts to explain his actions. Now if I help you, it matters that you see I'm concerned with our long-term security These penny stocks and ventures will not help our cause Convertible debentures, rather, help defray the cost I have no thought at all about my own reward I'm paid out of a trust fund handled by the Lord Just don't say I'm damned for all time I came because I had to -- I'm the one who knows Jesus' income surpasses what he owes And furthermore, I know that Jesus knows as well He sold a bunch of securities before the bell I have no thought at all about my own reward Who'll explain these balance sheets before the board? Just don't say I'm damned for all time Annas, you're my friend from old Judea U. Caiaphas, you took that seminar too Why are we accountants? Why are we the ones Who make a balanced budget and stick to our guns? I have no thought at all about my own reward I just don't like to expense things we can't afford Just don't say I'm damned for all time! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| TODAY'S DRIFTWOOD: "When a friend speaks to me, whatever he says is interesting." (Jean Renoir) |