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LUDIC LOG
07.28.2004

Tonight is a light-content night due to other commitments.  But since I can always count on iTunes to bail me out on a night when I have nothing to say and no time to say it, I present a very special MUSIC DEATHMATCH:  "Songs My Theoretical Future Wife Will Probably Not Let Me Play At Our Wedding Reception".*

*:  Yes, I know the mere fact that I am aware of, own and enjoy these songs precludes me from ever getting married.  Shut up.

BRACKET:  ROUND 1

"Coming in a Girl's Mouth", Momus
vs.
"Hot White Cum", Liz Phair

"Destroy 2000 Years of Culture", Atari Teenage Riot
vs.
"Kiss Me Where It Smells", Barnes & Barnes

"You Have Cum in Your Hair and Your Dick is Hanging Out", Palace Music
vs.
"Your Children Are Waiting for You to Die", McLusky

"Cadaveric Incubator of Endoparasites", Carcass
vs.
"Downloading Porn with Davo", Moldy Peaches

"Do You Wanna Fuck (Or What?)", Basehead
vs.
"Superpussy", Rapeman

"I Remember That Freak Bitch (from the Club)", Cypress Hill
vs.
"I'm Going to Blow Your Fucking Head Off", Superconductor

"Dancing Naked Ladies", the Jesus Lizard
vs.
"Brandenburg Concerto No 3 In G Major", Johann Sebastian Bach

"Run Nigger", the Last Poets
vs.
"Grudge Fuck", the Scud Mountain Boys

"Cunt Renaissance", RA the Rugged Man
vs.
"I Kill Children", Dead Kennedys

"They Fucked Our Asses", Tenacious D
vs.
"Offer It All Up, Our Madness That Will Be Crushed On This Land That Has Come to Be Called 'Chaos Unzipped'", Keiji Haino

"Chinga tu Madre", Brujeria
vs.
"Crummy Lovers Die in the Grave", the Fucking Champs

"Suck a Greyhound's Dick", Wesley Willis
vs.
"Clap Your Tits", Bob Log III

"Fuck & Fight", Varnaline
vs.
"Your Kid Committed Suicide Because You Suck", Anal Cunt

"Sex is for Children", the Roches
vs.
"Awaiting the Frozen Blasphemy of the NecroYeti's Lusting Necrobation Upon the Altar of Voxrfszzzisnsf", Impaled Northern Moonforest

"Chainsaw Gutsfuck", Mayhem
vs.
"Scars on My Body, Scabs on My Dick", GG Allin

"I No Longer Fear the Headless", the Loud Family
vs.
"Christraping Black Metal", Marduk
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TODAY'S DRIFTWOOD:  "Some people mistake weakness for tact.  If they are silent when they out to speak and so feign an agreement they do not feel, they call it being tactful.  Cowardice would be  a much better name." (Frank Medlicott)