LUDIC LOG

Hey, Ludic Log fans! Don't forget to e-mail me and tell me why I am better than Jesus Christ for my birthday August 7th. Holy God, it's less than a week away Damn yourself now!

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1. When I am faced with a question about my cultural preferences, I:

(a) Give a more or less sincere answer.

(b) Give an answer that is calculated to make me seem more him than I actually am.

(c) Complain loudly about the ambiguity and subjectivity of the questions.

(d) Read the question carefully for any reference to Buffy the Vampire Slayer I might have missed.

(e) Calculate the material's corrosivity level.

2. Questions about my political affiliations make me feel:

(a) Angry.

(b) Nauseous.

(c) Bored.

(d) Confused.

(e) That the time has come to mention Ayn Rand as many times as possible.

3. Questions involving more than one famous celebrity or fictional character inspire me to:

(a) Immediately pronounce them gay.

(b) Immediately pronounce them gay, and then write a short story in which they repeatedly sodomize one another.

(c) Think of ways in which they might be painfully killed.

(d) Google their names with " + pics + naked" written next to them.

(e) Tears.

4. When a quiz asks for my e-mail address, I:

(a) Put in a fake address.

(b) Put in a fake address with the word "fart" in it.

(c) Find out the ISP of the person who posted the quiz and destroy their computer.

(d) Put in a real address, but spell it out, like that's going to fool anybody.

(e) Put in my real address, and also my credit card number if they need that.

5. My favorite sex quizzes involve:

(a) men.

(b) woman.

(c) furry dolls.

(d) Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

(e) all of the above, plus the word "polymorph".