My first real entry after hiatus. Pity it's not better.
ADVENTURES IN REFERRAL:
a daily assortment of random
search engine queries leading people to the Ludic Log in the past 24
hours
"tattoos of hearts with dad"
"She-Hulk naked John Byrne"
"rock 'n' roll and the devil"
"CHiPs costumes"
"Mandingo giant cock"
"Cappadonna kung fu"
"albino human pictures"
"character of Abraham Slender"
"comics lizards toilets"
"teeth plaque conspiracy Metallica"
LUDIC LOG
08.18.2004
"So,
what did you do?"
"You mean in the war? I was a conscientious objecter, man.
I spent the whole war at a retard farm up north."
"No, I mean, what did you do for a living?"
"Oh. You know, a little of this, a little of that. Odd
jobs. Paper shuffling."
"I was an attorney."
"Yeah?"
"Class action suits. I lost it all in the tort reform craze of
'06. The minute I turned 70 my stupid asshole kids bunged me in
here."
"Yeah, that sucks. I'm in here on a federal grant. I
probably would be off in a gutter somewhere eating bugs if I wasn't so
good at writing angry letters."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah. I'm a real crank."
"I thought you said you shuffled paper."
"Well, crank isn't really an occupation. It's more of a hobby."
"I dunno. I don't keep track of the language you young people
use."
"Young people? I'm 76, man."
"I'm 80. It's a world of difference. So a crank is what,
kind of a writer?"
"Yeah. I used to write for different magazines, you know."
"Like what?"
"Nothing you'd have heard of."
"Why?"
"They were all arts publications."
"Oh."
"I also had a website."
"Why, did you work for a big corporation or something?"
"Nah, it was a what do you call it. A blog."
"Never heard of it."
"Well, before the internet was privatized, they had people who, like,
wrote things. On their websites. Like, some of them were
sort of journalists, only they didn't get paid. Some were
political, before that was outlawed. Other ones just talked about
what they ate for dinner and their romantic problems and how they hated
their jobs and shit. Other ones would just link to each other."