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My first real entry after hiatus.  Pity it's not better.
 
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LUDIC LOG
08.18.2004

"So, what did you do?"

"You mean in the war?  I was a conscientious objecter, man.  I spent the whole war at a retard farm up north."

"No, I mean, what did you do for a living?"

"Oh.  You know, a little of this, a little of that.  Odd jobs.  Paper shuffling."

"I was an attorney."

"Yeah?"

"Class action suits.  I lost it all in the tort reform craze of '06.  The minute I turned 70 my stupid asshole kids bunged me in here."

"Yeah, that sucks.  I'm in here on a federal grant.  I probably would be off in a gutter somewhere eating bugs if I wasn't so good at writing angry letters."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah.  I'm a real crank."

"I thought you said you shuffled paper."

"Well, crank isn't really an occupation.  It's more of a hobby."

"I dunno.  I don't keep track of the language you young people use."

"Young people?  I'm 76, man."

"I'm 80.  It's a world of difference.  So a crank is what, kind of a writer?"

"Yeah.  I used to write for different magazines, you know."

"Like what?"

"Nothing you'd have heard of."

"Why?"

"They were all arts publications."

"Oh."

"I also had a website."

"Why, did you work for a big corporation or something?"

"Nah, it was a what do you call it.  A blog."

"Never heard of it."

"Well, before the internet was privatized, they had people who, like, wrote things.  On their websites.  Like, some of them were sort of journalists, only they didn't get paid.  Some were political, before that was outlawed.  Other ones just talked about what they ate for dinner and their romantic problems and how they hated their jobs and shit.  Other ones would just link to each other."

"Sounds like kind of a circle jerk."

"You're telling me."

"So what was yours about."

"Well, I told jokes."

"About what?"

"Lots of stuff.  Comic books.  Postmodernist philosophers.  Literary theory.  Particle physics.  Hitler."

"And this was...this was funny?"

"Only sometimes."
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