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Inside: Cultural Sausage. ~ Ludic Lists. ~ Skullbucket. Outside: Music, music, music. "teeth plaque conspiracy Metallica" "Ric Flair song" "a hero ain't nothing but a sandwich" "Unlimited Class Wrestling Federation" "geeks dorks" "She-Ra fake naked" "Ming the Merciless green skin" "fake nose stud" |
08.24.2004
#1: POTBOILER (Assault Song) Silent Sam the Anger Man Swings his fist across the land Never opens up his hand He carries a grudge like a baseball bat A fist is just a hand with no one to shake Anger lies like a spitted snake You’re only as big as who you want to kill With all your faults I hate you still How old are you now? Do you fight every night? Does a drink in your hand Somehow make it all right? Silent Sam might drink too much Hit his girl, shout loud and such But he’s got that special touch He’ll break that bottle like he’ll break your heart I don’t have to tell you about the wages of sin I don’t have to tell you about the rages of men He’s going down that road again The devil in the bottle is coming for you, Jim Have all of your friends Felt you spill their blood? Sweat in rivers Whiskey a flood #2: TIME TO TESTIFY (Fraud Song) I tell you, it hurts me to see you, my man Looking so sorry and pale I never thought that I’d envy you more Even now, when you’re rotting in jail Your name was the idol of millions Now you flown just as low as can go From Berlin to the Hong Kong pavilions Ain’t no one will pay for your show Nobody thinks like you, brother Nobody kinks like you No one cadges free drinks like you, brother And it’s time you testified You’re a slacker, a thug and a dodger, my man You’re a master of long and short con You can ask any Tom, Dick or Roger in town Just whose bad side they shouldn’t be on Nobody’s deep like you, brother Nobody’s cheap like you Nobody wants to take that leap with you And it’s time you testified When I was a little boy, I spent up half my time Avoiding everything I had to do Now I’m much older and it’s all of my time It’s ain’t easy to be lazy, I’m telling you There’s no argument that you can’t marshal, my man There’s no logic that’s too far to leap You don’t ever do anything partial these days You’re a full-time professional creep We love you, ignore you and hate you Stick your face on the Post Office wall But whenever we’ve tried to sedate you It’s sure been a long ugly haul Nobody fights like you, brother Nobody bites like you Nobody claims to be as right as you And it’s time you testified #3: NIGHT OF THE CREEPS (Disorderly Song) Take me to a petting zoo, petting zoo, petting zoo Lots of meat for me and you Fry it up tonight Take me to a jungle gym, jungle gym, jungle gym Break the necks of her and him Burn it down tonight Take me to a world of hurt Wear my finest western shirt tonight Tonight Take me to a shopping mall, shopping mall, shopping mall See the calm before the fall Rip it off tonight Take me to a holding cell, holding cell, holding cell Make my life a living hell Lock me up tonight Take me to a world of pain Make me stand out in the rain tonight Tonight Take me to a special school, special school, special school Watch them kids all act the fool Keep them in tonight Take me to a liquor store, liquor store, liquor store Buy me a five-dollar whore Do it all tonight Take me to a world of hate Make me stay up really late tonight Tonight Take me to a hot dog stand, hot dog stand, hot dog stand Slap the grease inside my hand Make you pay tonight Take me to a porno shop, porno shop, porno shop See some undercover cops Take them out tonight Take me to a world of fun Make me use my biggest gun tonight Tonight Take me to a parking lot, parking lot, parking lot Make my girl get really hot Turn her on tonight Take me to a kissing booth, kissing booth, kissing booth Just don’t ever tell the truth Make it last tonight Take me to a world of love Make me pray to God above tonight Tonight |
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| TODAY'S DRIFTWOOD: "The one important thing I have learned over the years is the difference between taking one's work seriously and taking one's self seriously. The first is imperative and the second is disastrous." (Margot Fonteyn) |