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Inside: Cultural Sausage. ~ Ludic Lists. ~ Skullbucket. Outside: So, who's going to the 215 Festival this year? "forgive me for I have sinned" "tornado tyrant art" "please fuck my pussy with that log" "wide receiver does" "She-Hulk naked" "Aquaman sucky superhero" "I never met a horse" "I saw Jason Priestley" |
08.25.2004
We live in troubled times. War, disease and uncertainty plague the world. Even the most spiritually balanced individuals find themselves in psychic turmoil. Enlightenment and karmic alignment seem to be a paltry defense against the negative energies which buffett us throughout our trying days. This is not a time for foolishness, for doubt, for timidity. It is a time for wisdom, for determination, for leadership. It is a time for the spirits of the past to guide us on the path to the future. It is a time for Wadislav Kowalszewski. "The czar's men rode tall horses. I remember thinking that just one of them would make my daily labors much less painful and time-consuming. But of course I had no money to purchase one of the beautiful animals. Or anything else for that matter. Once I attempted to ask one of the soldiers how much it had cost and he struck me on the shoulder with a rifle butt. I could not work for several weeks. Eventually Anya starved to death. The house smelt a great deal after that." Too often, modern man has entrusted his faith the insight of the ancients; and too often, he has been disappointed. Trance-channeling and past-life regression is an amazing mystical tool, a powerful spirit-force with the potential to liberate us today with the wisdom of yesterday. But all too frequently, the channeled spirits of the past have been guided by charlatans, greedy men and women who seek nothing but money and fame and the satisfaction of their own egos. The celestial entities and reincarnated souls to whom they give a voice are those with the least to teach a latter-day seeker: they are warriors, kings, nobles and legends -- all too often, the archaic equivalents of the modern-day soldiers, politicials, executives and celebrities who have caused us to lose our way to begin with. How can we be expected to solve our problems by psychically communing with the very same sorts of people who created them in the first place? "Hunger was always with us. It was a constant companion. But not a good kind of companion, like an old friend or a dog or a dearly beloved relative. More like an evil companion who was constantly striking you in the stomach or prodding you in the ribs with a stick, and who would not go away no matter how desperately you might plead. I suppose actually an enemy more than a friend, now that I think of it. At any rate, we were very hungry, the six of us. Eventually there were only four of us, due to this same hunger, and as a result we were slightly less hungry. Not so much that we weren't still starving, but we truly realized how much worse things could have been, I will say that. We tried to eat hay, but it was not palatable nor easy to digest. Also, it was my only source of income, so eating it caused us to go from having very little money to no money at all, which was much worse. To this day I don't understand how horses can eat hay. It's terrible." Not so with Wadislav Kowalszewski. This wise, benevolent and down-to-earth teacher, channeled by the legendary and powerful medium J.T. "Shanks" Marimba, provides a simple wisdom from a simple time. The long-departed shade of a rural hay farmer on the Polish-Russian border in the late 19th century, Wadislav Kowalszewski does not obfuscate and dazzle with highfalutin cosmic nonsense or vague, impractical spiritual mumbo-jumbo like so many soul-guides before him. Instead, he offers practical advice, easy-to-follow instructions, and words of beautiful simplicity: simple words from a simple time, channeled directly to you, the modern spiritual seeker. "My oldest son, Levi, was a bright and shining promise from God. He was strong, firm of limb, and with a brilliant mind -- he alone among our village could read and write, and he had even been taken in by a local priest who promised him an education by which we all hoped to be redeemed. We placed our collective hope and faith in him. Unfortunately, he did not live past nineteen, as he was struck and killed by a runaway pig cart. Our other son, Wieslaw, was slow-witted and had only one eye and giggled like a schoolgirl at odd moments, but he knew the sound of a pig cart from a mile away. The lesson here is, try to avoid having the only person you know who can read get hit by pig carts. It is something I never forgot in all my 43 years." Wadislav Kowalszewski is a spiritual guru for these difficult times. He will not sway you with nonsensical tales of fantastic conquests, impossible glories, and historically inaccurate exploits that properly belong in a fairy story and not in the program of a spirit guide devoted to your health and well-being. He is no self-aggrandizing prince or self-absorbed baroness; he is a humble and dedicated baler of hay who spent his entire four-decade existence in a tiny Polish border town which barely existed then and didn't exist at all after 1923. He never set foot more than thirty feet outside his microscopic village in his life, and he is willing and able to pass on the simple wisdom and pure philosophy gained from a brief lifetime of illiterate agricultural subsistence living to you, at a time when you need it most. Call J.T. "Shanks" Marimba for a private or group session at incredibly reasonable fees. You cannot afford to be without Wadislav Kowalszewski's insight and counsel, just as sure as Wadislav Kowalszewski could not afford anything. Call now. "I am sorry. I do not understand a word you are saying. What language is that? No, I am sorry. No. No, I don't understand. Sorry. No." |
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| TODAY'S DRIFTWOOD: "It is a myth to think death is just for the old. Death is there from the very beginning." (Herman Feifelfor) |