LUDIC LOG

I tell you, Joe, there's one thing America has done right...that you can get in a car and drive on a beautiful sunny day and listen to your favorite music, that you can hang your arm out the window and just feel good...I know you can do that in a lot of countries, but somehow here it's I don't know it's part of the country or something, it's like we understand it, that it's not just an option or a gesture or something you do, it's something that's part of who we are...going to the store, being able to get good ingredients to cook a great meal, being able to find music and books and movies that make you happy, that's I mean I know it's bad to wrap it all up in consumerism like that because it's not really about being able to buy things, it's about being able to live the way you want to live and surround yourself with the things you love...I don't know, Joe, maybe that sounds terrible but I sure love music...I'd miss this, that's one thing and I know this is crazy but that's one thing that scares me about the terrorists that if one of them sets off a nuke or if we go crazy with the civil rights or something, this would end: no more just getting in your car on a Sunday morning, driving wherever you want, stopping at a grocery store before it gets too crowded and picking up something that looks so good you know it's going to make a great meal and you just can't wait to get home and cook it...I mean, it makes me feel bad kind of because a lot of people don't hardly get anything to eat at all...it's sad because they don't want to hurt me anymore than I want to hurt them, they just want a shot at this, they want to live the way we can live without some shits pushing them around and hell, Joe, I want them to have that, why would I want to keep that from anybody? I'm not a jealous guy, I'm not the kind of guy who says all for me and nothing for you...hey, you remember the other day at the Lucky Strike, that guy who was saying that people here ain't like New York, that we all live in a big city but we don't take advantage of it, like you know he was saying that here we are in this big city but most of us live our whole lives and to us the city consists of about five square miles of the neighborhood we live in, the stores we go to, the bars we like, the movie theatres, the office, the park, and all that but what I want to know is, how is he all that different? Fucking New Yorker, what does he cover every square inch of the city every damn weekend? I mean sure I don't get around the whole city all the time but who does? And the other thing is, I never met anyone as provincial as New Yorkers, they act like the world ends once you get off the island of Manhattan, aaaah, yeah, I know, there's no point in getting all worked up about it anyhow, that guy was just an asshole...hey, lookit, look over there, look getting into that minivan, it's a couple of midgets! Like a man and wife midget pair, that looks so freaky but I guess it's natural they would marry their own, you know you don't see as many midgets as you used to when I was a kid, Joe, I wonder if maybe there just aren't as many because medical science is getting better or what...I got this friend who thinks midgets are lucky, and another one who's like afraid of them and shit, but me I just am glad I ain't one of them, that's got to be a pretty shitty life, not that I'm better than them or anything I'm just glad I don't gotta deal with that, one more thing to worry about...hey Joe you lookin' forward to the weather turning? Oh yeah I know it'll be cold and all but some little part of me thinks it's kinda cool, you know gettin' to drink hot chocolate again and it's football season and snow is always so pretty except when I'm diggin' the truck out of it and me and Helen snuggled up under the sheets...naaah, she don't want kids and I don't blame her and you know it's funny because if you don't want kids it's like the world kinda gives up on you and you give up right back on it, like the other day I was walkin' past the park and I seen this sign for how they're having canoe trips up the river and I thought, oh, that'll be fun, maybe I'll go on that but you know what? All them things, all them park things, those are for families, like people and their kids, that's the whole point of them and if I was to go on one of them myself no matter how fun it might be I mean I never took a canoe up the river before or nothin' but no matter how much I might wanna do it I ain't gonna go because all these families and their kids will be on it and it's not because I don't like kids, hell Joe your kid she's a doll, but all them people will look at me a guy out there by himself, they'll probably think I'm some kinda pervert or something...you know what I was thinking about yesterday Joe? About World War II, about how it must have been I mean not fun or anything but exciting, kind of a wierd time to be alive and yet you must have been, besides like scared out of your wits because there's this crazy man wanting to take over the whole world, but kind of thrilling too, I mean this wasn't even that long ago you know, your old man was almost over there, and there were real guys with guns running all up and down Italy and France, for real, not in some jungle somewhere or the desert, and it must have seemed strange to be over there, not that I'm saying that war is necessary or completes you or some bullshit like that, hell Joe you know how I feel about that, but you know what I'm saying? You must have felt like you mattered...but I tell you, Joe, days like this, I don't want to say it makes you feel lucky to be alive, because I dunno, I've never experienced the alternative, but I know that on days like this I feel happy, and why wouldn't you want that, why would you not want to be happy, why wouldn't you love to be around for a day like this? I ask you .