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In the words of Mr. Bruce Springsteen, "Don't vote for that fuckin' Bush!"

 
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LUDIC LOG
09.30.2004

K:  ...and, by doing so, further endangering the lives of Americans.

M: Thank you, Mr. Kerry.  Mr. Bush?  Your rebuttal?

B:  Mr. Kerry can suck my rebuttal.

M:  Mr. President, I don't want to have to warn you again.

B:  What?

M:  This is the third time I've asked you about the use of the word 'suck'.  I understand that this procedure can get a bit heated and emotional, but...

B:  My people weren't told anything about my not being allowed to say 'suck'.

M:  Yes, but simple decorum...

K:  Well, to be fair, neither were mine.

M:  I think you're missing the spirit of my objection.

K:  And I would like to add that the President can suck it.

M:  ...can what?

K:  Suck it.  Suck it sideways.

B:  You can suck it.

K:  Maybe I'll suck it when you're done with it.

M:  Gentlemen...

B:  Bring it on, horseface.

K:  Oh, bring it on, that's real original, George.  Junior.

M:  Mr. Kerry, I must insist...

B:  Mister Kerry.  Mister Kerry.  What are you always calling him Mister Kerry for?  What are you, his butler?  Mr. Harvard Square needs his butler to call him 'Your Majesty Mister Kerry'.

K:  At least I could get into Harvard.  You couldn't even get into Hartford, Failie. 

M:  If we can...

B:  Why don't you go climb up a rope, mama's boy? 

K:  Why don't you stand below and watch me, homo? 

B:  Why don't you make me?

K:  Queer says what?

B:  What?

K:  QUEER!

(audience laughter)

M:  Oh, man, total burn.

B:  Hey, fuck you, Lehrer.  You're supposed to be impartial.

M:  Sorry, Mr. President.

B:  Fine.

M:  But you have to admit that was a total burn.

B:  It's gonna be a total burn when your ass gets audited next year. 

M:  Let's move on to the issue of Social Security.
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TODAY'S DRIFTWOOD:  "We human beings ought to stand before one another as reverently, as reflectively, as lovingly, as we would before the entrance to hell." (Franz Kafka)