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10.09.2006


Blogging safety is no accident. When a week of web-logging is up, and we take a look at the big "0" on the ACCIDENTS/INJURIES report, we know that's the result of hard work, paying attention, and an attentive staff of conscientious bloggers. We're in our sixth week of injury-free blogging, so we know the message is getting through; but we'd like to take this opportunity to remind you of a few basic "DO"s and "DON'T"s that will make all our lives a little safer.

1. DO keep your eyes at least three inches away from the monitor at all times. Contrary to popular myth, images on a computer screen actually get harder to see when you're very close, not easier.

2. DON'T type with only one hand. This is sinful, dirty and can lead to carpal tunnel syndrome. If you have only one hand, consider aquiring a helper monkey.

3. DO report all injuries, in your blog if possible. Keeping an injury secret might keep our numbers down, but it only hurts you in the long run. A post as simple as "I have accidentally jammed a pencil in my eye! Please help!" can do a world of good.

4. DON'T blog in bed. It's bad for your back, your hands, your elbows, and your prose style. Also, there have been reports that some people are resting the monitor on their chest or crotch. It should go without saying that this is extremely hazardous.

5. DO report damage to power cords to your supervisors immediately. The shower of yellow and blue sparks is hypnotically pretty, but it's also very dangerous!

6. DON'T play with your food. Drinking in front of your monitor is fine; drinking out of your monitor is very risky.

7. DO give yourself time to get up and walk around. Taking a break from sitting in front of your computer is not only good for you, but you might see something you could blog about.

8. DON'T break your monitor open with a bowling ball while it's still plugged in, then reach through the jagged shattered glass with your hand to see if elves live inside. Come on, people. And if you, like so many others, have done this already, DON'T do it again!

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"A 'modern' man has nothing to add to modernism, if only because he has nothing to oppose it with. The well-adapted drop off the dead limb of time like lice." (Elias Canetti)