The Ludic Log
Cultural Sausage
Ludic ListsSkullbucket

ARCHIVES
(All Past Entries)

LINKS
(Other Sites) ~ (Other Writing)
(About This Site) ~ (Bio/C.V.)

ADVENTURES IN REFERRAL
a daily assortment of random search engine queries leading people to the Ludic Log in the past 24 hours

"Rouge the Bat being gay"

"songs about crime"

"Scooby Doo cartoon monster"

"She-Hulk XXX"

"real fortuneteller"

"ass reamers"

"sexy and seventeen"

"how you gonna keep them down on the farm"

"Wicca and heavy metal"

"MR. Kolpert"

10.12.2006


A.  Has it been in any other papers? George, don't tell that I outlawed Russia. What have you done with him? Oh, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy. Oh stop it, stop it; eh, well, well. Sure, sure, Mommy.  Now listen, Oliver, fun is fun. Ah please, Mommy. What happened to the eighteen-and-a-half? Oh, oh, he done it, please. Dick, please, oh, did you buy the hotel? You promised a end to war sure. Get out. I wished I could remember.  Please make it quick, trust but verify. Please. Trust but verify. Please help me get out; on the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia, thank God. Well, well, oh well. You will have to please tell him, I'm not a lawyer.  You get ahead with the trickle-down system; didn't I speak that time last night? Whose number is that in your pocket book?  KL5-1234. Who was it? Oh, well, well. Supreme Court decision. Police, police, Meese and Frankie. Oh, oh, Lucky's biscuits and when he is happy he doesn't get happy please, please to do this. Then Donald, Donald, Frankie you didn't even meet me. There is bitter bile in my mouth what I say oh, Gorbachev, oh Gorbachov. Sure who cares when you are through? I can't recall. I can't recall. Well, then oh, Michael now thinks he is estranged again. He is jumping around. No Donald and Ronald I think he means the same thing.

Q. Who shot you?

A. The Boss himself.

Q. He did?

A. Yes, I can't recall.

Q. What did he shoot you for?

A. I showed him Boss; did you hear him call me? An endorsement. The song stuck. All right, Mommy.

Q. Was it the boss shot you?

A. Who shot me? I don't remember.

Q. We will help you.

A. Will you help me up? O.K. I won't be such a big kiester. Oh, Mommy. I can't go through with it, please. Oh, and then he tells me; come on. Cut that out, you can't prime the pump without pumping the prime.  Hold it; instead, hold it against him. I am a pretty good jelly bean.  Ed --  Department of Justice. I even got it from the Department. Sir, please stop it. All great change begins at the dinner table!

Q. Don't holler.

A. I don't want to holler.

Q. What did they shoot you for?

A. I don't know, sir. Honestly I don't. I don't even know who was with me, honestly. I was in the toilet and when I reached the -- the boy came at me.

Q. The big fellow gave it to you?

A. Well, yes, he gave it to me.

Q. Do you know who this big fellow was?

A.- No. If he wanted trees to be the cause of polution, no, please, I get a month. They did it. Come on. Speakes cut me off and says you are not taking comments at this time. Is that right? I will be checked and double-checked and please pull for me. Will you pull? Don't you know that facts are stupid things? Please, I had nothing with him, I was a cowboy in Death Valley Days. The business of America is business; no welfare, no workfare, nothing; just what you pick up and what you need. I don't know who shot me. Don't give her this check -- she'll spend her food stamps on vodka. Let me get up. Well? In the olden days they put in an honest day's work for an honest day's pay. Please give me a shot. They closed down the factory in South Succotash. Sure, that is bad. Well, oh, good never comes from trying. I don't want veto. I want veto. Oh, Mommy, Mommy! Who give it to him? Who give it to him? Let me in the governor's mansion, Moonbeam he was nowhere near. It smoldered No, no. There are only ten of us and there ten million fighting somewhere you, there is no word in Russian for freedom. Oh, please let me up. Please shift me. The Marines are here. Communistic strike...baloney...honestly Marxism-Leninism I get; sometimes I give it and sometimes I don't. Oh, I am all in. That settles it. Are you sure? Please let me get in and eat. You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by the way he eats jellybeans. Please don't ask me to go there. I don't want to. It's up to the big fella upstairs. It is no use to say that we need to help people. The country is not in trouble and the Russian bear was in trouble and I broke it up. Please tear down this wall. Please open this curtain. My gilt edged stuff and those dirty rats have tuned in. Please honey, I forgot to duck; if you hadn't rported it no one would have known. Please get me up, my friends. Please, look out. The missiles are a bit wild, but they can be recalled. Big payrolls. Oil wells. Some coupons. It's morning in America. A mouth at one end and no sense of decorum at the other. Look out. Look out for him. Please. The government owed me money; it owes everyone money. Why can't he just pull out of Afghanistan and give me control? Please, Mommy, you pick me up now. Please, you know me. No. Don't you mention Carter. My friends and I think I do a better job. People are waking up  all over. Be instrumental in letting us know. They are Englishmen and they elected someone who knows what's best. Oh, sir, please tell me you're a Republican. You can look out at the ocean and there's a drilling platform there but you can still see the sea. I take all events into consideration. Yes.  Yes.   And it is yes. I'm all confused now. Beach Boys have never played nor dashed a man named Jim. Did you hear me?

Q. Who shot you?

A. I can't recall.

Q. How many shots were fired?

A. I don't remember.

Q. How many?

A. Two hundred billion. Come one, get some money in that treasury. We need it. Come on, please get it. I can't tell you to. That is not what you have in the notes. Oh, please Jack Warden. What am I going to do for money? Please put America up on its feet at once. A rising tide lifts all boats. Did you hear me? I would hear it, the Supreme Court would hear it, and Sandra Day O'Connor might hear it. If that ain't the pay-off. Please crack down on the Russian's friends and Khaddafi's commander. I am sore and I am going up and I am going to give you tax relief if I can. Mommy is the best bet and don't let Tip O'Neill draw you too fast.

Q. What did the big fellow shoot you for?

A. Him? Tip? Over a million, five million dollars.

Q. You want to get well, don't you?

A. Yes.

Q. Then lie quiet.

A. Well, we're doing all we can.

Q. Tip shot and we will take care of Tip.

A. That is what caused the all the trouble. Look out. Please let me up. If you do this, you can go on and jump right here in the lake. I know who they are. They are French people. They are hippies.  All right. Look out, look out. Oh, my memory is gone. Welfar reform. Who gets it? I don't know and I don't want to know, but look out. It can be traced. Bush changed for the worse. Please look out; my fortunes have changed and come back and went back since that. It was desperate. I'm no Wobbly. I did not trade arms for hostages.

Q. Control yourself.

A. But I am dying.

Q. No, you are not.

A. Come on, Mommy. All right, dear, you have to get it. Then  pull me out. And ever since he told me that. They won't let me get up. They dyed my hair. Cut that hair. Give me something. I am so sick. Give me some jelly beans, the only thing that I want. Open this up and break it so I can go on vacation. Haig, please get me in the car.

Q.  Who shot you?

A. I don't know. I didn't even get a look. I don't know who can have done it. Anybody. Kindly check with Jodie Foster. The Hinckley says these things. I know what I am doing here with my collection of papers. What this country needs is a good five cent cigar. It is priceless. I am going to turn it over to...I'll hand this over to Larry. I am so sick now. The Congress is getting many complaints. Look out. I want that line-item veto. Look out for Henry Kissinger for he is an old pal of mine. Come on, come on, Cap. Well, well, I am all through. Can't do another thing. Look out Mommy, look out for Bob Dole. You can't beat him. Army, Mommy, Helen Thomas, Ron Jr., please take me out. I will avoid the impeachment. Come on, win one for the Gipper. The evil empire. This Mickey Mouse system. Shut up, goddamnit! Please help me up, Henry. Cap, come over here. Ketchup is a vegetable. Let them leave me alone.


Permanent Link
Previous Entry ~ Current Entry ~ Next Entry
E-mail the Ludic Log ~ ~ Find Me Out

"You can't fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal." (William S. Burroughs)