A SONG ABOUT THE YEAR 1829

1829! 1829!
Of all the 1820s, you're the flyest super-fine!
I sing about you sweeter than the voice of Patsy Cline
'Cause you're 1829!

June the fuckin' eighth in the town of Liverpool
The UK's first non-London municipal swimming pool!
Sevastopol in Russia told the Jews to all get bent!
Philly laid the cornerstone for the first U.S. mint!
Leo XII and Pius VIII both took the final hike!
A bunch of Polish people drowned 'cause of a broken dyke!
A dude named Johnny Martin set the church at York on fire!
Bill Burt invents the typewriter, unless I am a liar!

1829! 1829!
In the latter 1820s, you're the year that really shines!
I dream about you daily while I drink and dance and dine
'Cause you're 1829!

Catholics in England got the right to ply their faith!
J.Q. Adams left the White House and he soon became a wraith!
The Turkish and the Russians both negotiated peace!
Then the Turks turned right around and gave autonomy to Greece!
An opera bowed in Paris with the title "William Tell"!
And also, Goethe's "Faust", which was bombastical as hell!
The cops in London got help in the form of Scotland Yard!
Chang and Eng, the Siamese twins, lived a life that was quite hard!

1829! 1829!
For suckas who would dis you, I am gonna draw a line!
Reading all about you sure beats working in a mine
'Cause you're 1829!

A SONG ABOUT THE FORGOTTEN HEROES

If there's evil all about and you need to save the day
But you haven't got the juice to call the JLA,
Just do what every poor impoverished sucker facing danger does
Call the team of those who might have been and them that never was...

Pay a call on the Forgotten Heroes!
They're the team made of rejects and zeroes!
If you face a ghoulish fate
From a foe that doesn't rate,
The Forgotten Heroes are always in!

Pay a call on the Forgotten Heroes!
They're the team made of rejects and zeroes!
They may not be all that great,
But they never show up late
The Forgotten Heroes will probably win!

Meet the crimson-clad spelunker named Cave Carson
He's no good against rape, piracy or arson
But he's noble and he's nimble and your life he's sure to save
Just as long as it's at risk in a subterranean cave!

Dolphin rescues you from horror, death and slaughter
That is, if that stuff is happening underwater
All the evils of the ocean face her stinging, swift rebukes
Plus she wears a tied-up belly shirt and skin-tight Daisy Dukes

The Immortal Man fights crime when he is able
And Rick Flagg really isn't all that unstable
Rip Hunter has a time-sphere and Dane Dorrance has a boat
Animal Man's reputation keeps the team afloat

And the final member really is a killer
It's a mighty silverback named Congorilla
No gadgets, strength or flying belts; no boots, no cowl, no cape
Just a bugfuck old explorer and a giant golden ape!

Pay a call on the Forgotten Heroes!
They're the team made of rejects and zeroes!
They will come direct to you
They've gotten nothing else to do
The Forgotten Heroes are just and kind!

Pay a call on the Forgotten Heroes!
They're the team made of rejects and zeroes!
Sure, they don't have that much power,
And they'll bill you by the hour
But the Forgotten Heroes...oh, never mind.

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"The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words." (Philp K. Dick)