10.23.2002
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Your
Continued Mortal Existence |
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Item
#725092571 |
Everything
Else:Services:Other
Currently US $14,650,000.00
First bid US $10,000,000.00
Quantity 1
# of bids 63 bid history
Started Oct-02-02 15:04:16 PDT
Ends Oct-24-02 09:57:04 PDT mail
details of this auction to a nervous friend
Time left 14 hrs, 21 mins, 43 secs
Location VIRGINIA 22036
Country/Region United States/Washington
Seller (Rating) sniper077 (10)
compulsively watch this auction on
CNN - view crazy conspiracy
theories about this seller's identity - desperately bargain with
this seller
High bid chuckmoosePhD (1)
Payment Billpoint (eBay Payments), PayPal,
money order/cashiers check, large piles of cash in unmarked non-sequential
small bills. Or pay "electronically", if you get my
drift. No other payments accepted; personal checks will result
in dead Farm Subsidies Board worker.
Shipping Buyer pays for shipping cost
of the one that has your name on it.
Seller assumes all responsibility for listing
this item. You should contact the seller via shaky cell phone
connection to resolve any "questions" before bidding.
Auction currency is in U.S. Dollars (US$) unless otherwise noted.
You
are bidding on your own life, to be spared by me upon payment
of the $10 mil. The life-sparing will be in the form of me not
shooting you through the head, chest or stomach with a .223 sniper
rifle as you innocently go about your daily routine. This is
an excellent opportunity for mothers of newborn children, well-liked
co-workers, fresh-faced immigrants new to this country, or other
candidates for hindsighted dramatic irony; or, just for people
who enjoy not being killed. The sparing of your life will remain
in effect for the remainder of your natural lifespan. (NOTE:
you are not bidding on the guarantee to live forever,
but only the guarantee that I will not kill you! Seller
is not responsible for buyer dying in any way other than being
fataly shot, by me, in the head, chest or stomach with a .223
sniper rifle.) A great item for life-lovers, nervous pedestrians,
gas station attendants, or that special someone over the holidays.
| High bidder pays shipping and insurance on notarized
guarantee of my not killing you. I will contact you via soul-chilling,
untraceable telephone call with full payment information and
a trite, hostile supervillainous threat. Please tell me your
name, address and normal daily travel routine at the end of the
auction. Payment must be made within 10 days of the end of the
auction or I'm camping outside the White House Halloween party
with a AR-15. There may be a 10-business-day delay depending
on traffic at the Swiss Bank, and if I get really bored I'm killing
some more people, but you won't be one of them I swear. A Non-Paying
Bidder form will be filed with eBay if the item is not paid for,
plus I'll blow your fucking brains all over Michael's while you're
shopping for those dopey styrofoam balls. I'm serious. I have
a ton of these fucking tarot cards left, what else am I going
to do with them? Please bid responsibly and enjoy your eBay experience. |
On Oct-07-02 at
05:09:35 PDT, seller added the following information:
Pay me securely with
any major credit card through PayPal! Dear policeman, I am God!
On Oct-19-02 at
17:00:02 PDT, seller added the following information:
Use the REAL
selling tools a million sellers do -- Andale! Your children are
not safe anywhere at any time!
On Oct-22-02 at
12:37:41 PDT, seller added the following information:
Seriously, dude! That
bitch at the hotline totally hung up on me. I have a lot more
auctions on eBay, I'm warning you!
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