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"Don't vote for that fuckin' Bush!" (Bruce Springsteen, 1988)
 
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LUDIC LOG
11.01.2004

Say, readers!  Can you spot which moron is me?  How about which one is you?  I bet you can!   And don't forget to vote, for Pete's sake.

"I vote because I think I get paid for it, like jury duty."
"My vote is designed to piss off my parents, assumed peer group, or some celebrity I don't like."
"I don't know who I'm going to vote for, because I have been living in  a subterranean lake for the last seventeen years."
"There's an election?"
"I think people who aren't informed about the issues -- that is to say, people whose opinions are at variance with my own -- shouldn't vote."
"I have fetishized the democratic process to such a ridiculous degree that I will be ashamed if I don't vote.  Which will make me feel pretty dumb if my candidate doesn't win."
"I'm voting for someone a celebrity told me to vote for.  Or possibly someone a celebrity told me not to vote for."
"Voting is a 'sacred duty' or something."
"I have 'principles' that prevent me from voting."
"I will not vote until this country is ready to elect a Stalinist in a landslide."
"I am somehow unable to discern any difference whatsoever between the two candidates."
"I'm voting based on what the candidates may or may not have done 35 years ago in a war I may or may not have supported."
"I simply cannot be bothered to take 15 minutes out of my busy day once every four years to go to the polls."
"You can't make me vote."
"I'm 'cancelling out' someone else's vote, somehow.  That makes me feel like a big man."
"I just like the cool self-righteous feeling I get from voting."
"I'm not voting because I don't recognize the authority of the Zionist Occupational Government."
"Voting is for pussies.  Like reading."
"I can't vote, because there's a concerted effort by the opposition party to disenfranchise me and ensure that my affinity group's votes aren't counted.  Also because I never registered."
"Hitler gained power in a free election, you know.  I'm not gonna take any heat for that shit."
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TODAY'S DRIFTWOOD:  "The surest way to get a thing in this life is to be prepared for doing without it, to the exclusion even of hope." (Jane Welsh Carlyle)