LUDIC LOG

May 3rd: I am creative and intelligent.

May 4th: I am in control of my own life.

May 5th: I am a well-adjusted person.

May 6th: I am having an effect on others in a positive way.

May 7th: I am responsible for all of my creations, and as of now I choose to be loving, joyful and positive in thought, word and action.

May 8th: I am going to conquer my sciatica.

May 9th: I am the creator of my happiness.

May 10th: I am going to find that missing rubber mallet.

May 11th: I am capable of beating this solicitation charge.

May 12th: I am talented and I love to make use of my many gifts.

May 13th: I am going to get rid of this skin rash, no matter what any numerologist says.

May 14th: I am capable of learning from my mistakes, especially ones involving grave robbery.

May 15th: I am fully aware that my mother is dead, and that the odds of her returning as a zombie are very small.

May 16th: I am in the right place at the right time.

May 17th: I am going to be in the right place at the right time from now on, and I now understand that in the alley behind a strip club at 3 A.M. with a Yugoslavian forger is probably never going to be the right place or the right time.

May 18th: I am not going to rob the liquor store, no matter how overpriced their tangerine schapps is.

May 19th: I am moving forward with a joyful sense of adventure.

May 20th: I am forgiving of the shortcomings of others just as they are forgiving of my shortcomings, and I am going to attribute the girl at the dollar store's attitude to a bad childhood instead of thinking it's about me personally.

May 21st: I am the master of my soul, not the frozen burrito company.

May 22nd: I am able to tell the difference between Dr. Pepper and Diet Dr. Pepper.

May 23rd: I am not the Emperor of Rats. Not yet.

May 24th: I am aware that all life is sacred, especially mine.

May 25th: I am aware that my life is the most sacred of all, and when it comes right down to it, that guy had probably seen his best years anyway.

May 26th: I am not addicted to pornography; pornography is addicted to me.

May 27th: I am capable of making my own decisions about diaper pails.

May 28th: I am constantly filled with the love of the Creator.

May 28th: I am strong enough to chew through electrical tape if I have to.

May 29th: I am not going to let some unenlightened meter-maid tell me what is and isn't sexual harrassment.

May 30th: I am without judgement of others or myself. I unconditionally accept that all things are an expression of divine love.

May 31st: I am due in court on June 7th.