LUDIC LOG

~ General Washington revisits the topic of pensions for the veterans of the War for Independence. Some agitation has been noted among the ranks of those not payed. Mr. Madison requests that the motion be tabled until such time as the nation's fiduciary stability is assured. Mr. Franklin japes that stability would be faster in coming if Mr. Madison's wife could control her intake of fruit pies. General laughter at this remark. Motion is tabled.

~ Mr. Hamilton asks if it is truly necessary to allow voting by non-landed male citizens. Mr. Adams and Mr. Hamilton argue at some length, with heated words being exchanged. Mr. Adams' argument revolves around the fact that promises were made to the people and the hope of the young nation lies in the blossoming of democracy; Mr. Hamilton's revolve around the fact that Mr. Adams is poor. Mr. Hayes suggests that it might be wise to provide contingencies for when women and Negroes are allowed the franchise. Mr. Gwynnette inquires why don't we just also make plans for when we let apes and butter churns vote while we're at it.

~ The electoral college is discussed. General Washington fears that it may not provide the sense of a mandate for a president. Mr. Stafford counters that given the difficulty of speedy communications with the farthest-flung of the colonies, the system is the best currently available. Mr. Hayes claims that this is going to cause immeasurable havoc once technological means for communications are devised, say, 200 years hence. Mr. Adams asks if this might possibly be a bit speculative. Mr. Hayes replies that he simply wants his objection to the process noted. Mr. Franklin duly notes it, though Mr. Hayes makes a further objection to his tone of voice.

~ Mr. John Adams brings up the topic of an amendment to the proposed constitution guaranteeing the right to keep and bear arms. Mr. Hayes suggests that this is going to lead to disaster. General Washington asks if there's anything that isn't going to lead to disaster. Mr. Hayes says that General Washington can make all the jokes he wants but this whole keep-and-bear-arms thing is going to be big, big trouble. Mr. John Adams says that he does not see how it will make any kind of difference once the war is over. Mr. Samuel Adams concurs and also suggests that Mr. Hayes is an idiot. Mr. Hayes says that he gets paid for showing up either way so if they want him to just sit here and not say anything that's fine.

~ General Washington inquires about the progress of the relocation of the capitol from Philadelphia. Mr. Justice reports it is going as well as as can be expected given the troublesome climate and insect problems. General Washington asks if there is anything else to report about the move. Mr. Adams says that happily, the project is well under budget. General Washington says this is good news indeed and is there anything else. Mr. Adams asks like what specifically. General Washington says oh, nothing, nothing, really, just generally he wanted to know what was happening. Mr. Adams says you mean like what's happening with the name of the new capitol? Mr. Washington responds no, not like that at all, he wasn't even trying to bring that up, but since Mr. Adams mentioned it you have to admit that Washington is a much better name that Americatown. Mr. Adams says that he thinks Americatown is a great name. Mr. Franklin responds that Mr. Adams also thought Big Yankee was a great name. Mr. Adams suggests that Mr. Franklin suck his big yankee.

~ Discussion of the proposed Bill of Rights. Mr. Jefferson suggests that the document is a failure in its current form and if adopted as it stands, with no representation for Negroes, Red Indians and womenfolk, it will betray the very principles of the nation. Mr. Adams concurs and says that at the very least, it would be nice if rights were guaranteed for those who do not own land. Mr. Hamilton says it would also be nice if we could fly through the air like birds but that isn't going to happen either. Mr. Hayes attempts to interject at this point but is shouted down by the group; he inquires why they even ask him to come to the meetings if they are not going to listen to what he has to say. No answer is forthcoming other than Mr. Hamilton's request that, while we are on the subject, his face be put on the official currency. Mr. John Adams points we were not on that subject. Mr. Hamiton replies that Mr. John Adams can cram it with cranberries.

~ Further discussion of the Bill of Rights, with specific attention paid to possible exemptions to the protection of the free press and of free speech in times of war or in exceptionally dangerous situations. Mr. Hayes asks the members to contemplate a sort of fibrous tube, which could deliver as if by magic images of a pornographic nature to the homes of an average citizen. General Washington says again with the magic tube that brings fornicating women to our homes, what is it with you and the magic tube? Mr. Hayes says that such a thing would be a serious test of free expression and the members should think about it. Mr. Franklin says he would very much like to contemplate the existence of such a thing.

~ Luncheon break.