LUDIC LOG

Every once in a while, the staff here at Ludic Log World Command takes a break from churning out the half-formed quasi-jokes and cryptoliterary mashups that are our hallmark. Just like in any other successful multimillion-dollar business, there are administrative tasks to be dealt with, executive decisions to be made, longstanding open issues that need to be closed. Today is one such day: a day to set aside references to the Flemish automatic writing craze of the late 19th century and jokes about MODOK in deference to a few technical, stylistic, and procedural matters. Never fear: we'll be back on schedule tomorrow with a brand-new and resistably hilarious log entry tomorrow. But for today, there will be a number of announcement that will interest you and questions that will concern you. So prick up your virgin ears!

To begin with, I am considering a very minor site redesign. It would essentially consist of filling up that blank gray space to your left between the links link and the site meter with something other than nothing. (Incidentally, there are a bunch of delightful new links here on the Ludic Log; please do check them out.) So, my first question to you, the purportedly loyal reader, is this: what would you like to see over there? Links? Quotes? A schedule of recent posts? A search function? Graphics? MP3s? Referrals? Recent lists and sausage? Something else altogether? Or, would you prefer it stays blank? Let me know what you'd like to see.

Next, those of you -- and you know who you are -- who are participating in the big Christmas holiday gift exchange, known around here as the "Glom a Heap of Free CDs Off the Ludic Kid, and Help Him Get On the Short List to Be Sued By the RIAA", please note that the Big CD List has finally been updated. There you will find all the CDs I currently own. Note that the list does not contain, as it once did, my hundreds of cassettes and vinyl LPs, since I do not currently have the capacity to convert those to CD format. However, there's still a ton of stuff on there, and it doesn't even include all the mp3 CDRs I have made over the last few years, which is easily another hundred or so. So, if you're wondering what to ask for this Christmas, click on the link above, wait about 6 hours for it to load, take a look, and then ask your saxxxy Santa.

Speaking of Christmas, I'll be out of town this holiday, visiting friends and family in the retard-killing state of Texas. So, since I'll be away from the computer much of that time, I'm having another guest-columnist contest! Would YOU like to be an integral part of the world's least vital website? Would YOU like to have your ebullience, joie de vivre and weltanschauung exposed to literally thousands of readers who are looking for directions to Benzino's club in South Beach? Would YOU like to bail my ass out while I'm on vacation? Well, now's your chance!

I'll be gone for 12 days -- from December 19th to December 30th. So, I'm hereby announcing THE LUDIC LOG 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS GUEST COLUMNIST GIFTSTRAVAGANZA!

I need a solid dozen guest entries sometime between now and Dec. 19. I'd love to use a different person each day, if at all possible. So if you're a constant reader of the site, an occasional fan, or even just someone who thought I could sell you Dr. Pepper in bulk quantities, give guest-columnry a try! Send me your idea for a guest column for my web log -- a link for Link Sundays, a list for List Saturdays, a retarded comic book recap for Retarded Comic Book Recap Thursdays, or one of the trademarked "collision between unlikely obscure cultural figures that results in a convoluted, self-referential scenario that maybe one out of eighty readers will find mildly amusing" stories for which the Ludic Log is justifiably famous, then bring it on, punks! Holliday-themed submissions are not required, but would be highly appreciated. I will publish the best of the guests while I'm away, and your brilliance will be read by influential nogoodniks in my circle of crypto-literary acquaintances.

Also, once again, REAL HONEST-TO-CHRIST GIFTS will be awarded to those who make the cut! Sure, the gifts people got for the last guest stint back in July went out late, and they sucked, but it was still worthwhile! To me at least! So don't delay -- submit today! Your date with mo' destiny awaits!

Finally, and still on the Xmas tip, on Christmas Eve, December 24th, the Ludic Log will be featuring a charmingly delightful pile of horseshit, er, children's story to mark the holiday. I'm currently looking for artsy people to illustrate it! If you've got a keen eye and some handskillz with pain, pen, ink, or pixel, drop me a line and let me know if you're interested in contributing a panel or two to the project. There will, again, be gifts! Gifts which are not money! But it will be funny, and fun, and I'll thank you, and baby Jesus will thank you, and all the criminally undersupervised children who read this log will thank you too.

Cheers! Back to our regularly scheduled nonsense tomorrow.