Archives.
02.03.02 - 05.25.02.
05.26.02 - 09.14.02.
09.15.02 - 11.27.02.

LUDIC LOG

R: Hello again. Welcome back to The Dead Pool, America's favorite dead celebrity guessing game; I'm Rip Brenley. The goal of our game is simple: if you ring in quickest and are the first to identify the dead celebrity from the clues we give you, you'll collect points that can be used towards fabulous prizes. Let's meet the contestants who will be contending for today's glittering prize, a brand new Ford Imperialista sports utility vehicle. Our first contestant is Mitch Riley of New York City. Hi, Mitch!

M: Hey, Rip.

R: Mitch, you're involved in fine dining, it says here.

M: I'm a pizza delivery man.

R: Ah.

M: If that's what you mean.

R: Well, that must be interesting.

M: It's kind of lame.

R: Terrific. John Laver from Warrior, Alabama is our next contestant; how you doin', John?

J: I'm fine.

R: Great.

J: Why?

R: What?

J: Don't I look fine? Do I look nervous?

R: Well, no.

J: I'm not. I'm fine.

R: Okay. Last but not least, we've got Kathy Olin, from Young America, Minnesota. What's new in Young America, Kathy?

K: I have three lovely children.

R: And what do you do, when you're not looking after your three lovely
children?

K: Micah, Daniel and Caleb.

R: Uh huh. And is there anything else?

K: ...what?

R: All right. Let's get straight to the action. This funky funnyman had America singing the Blues in the late 1970s with a series of memorable characters on Saturday Night Live.

BZZZ

R: Kathy?

K: Dan Aykroyd?

R: No, actually, Dan Aykroyd is still alive.

BZZZ

R: John?

J: It was them drugs that did it.

R: ...that's right. Do you have a guess?

J: Drugs.

R: Judges? No. Okay, Mitch, it's down to you.

M: I say drugs too.

R: But...all right. Okay, the one we were looking for there was John Belushi. So, we'll all take a point penalty on that one, and move on to the next man. Like Belushi, this funny fatty made America and Canada laugh all the way to the grave, both on SCTV and in a string of moderately well-received movies.

BZZZ

R: Kathy?

K: Eugene Levy.

R: No. Once again, Eugene Levy is still alive. We're looking for someone no longer among the living.

BZZZ

R: John.

J: You got no idea what it's like to kill a man. No idea at all. To watch the last breath come out of his mouth. To feel it on your hands.

R: You've got me there, John. I sure don't. Is that your answer?

J: I'll say Steve McQueen.

R: No, I'm sorry. Mitch? You want to take a shot at this?

M: Oh, man. This is hard. Fat, funny, Canadian.

R: And dead.

M: Dead, right. Okay. I'm gonna say Fatty Arbuckle.

R: Good try, Mitch. But he wasn't Canadian.

J: Or funny.

R: You had your turn, John. Let's move on to the next one. This lovely starlet of stage and screen delighted us all, from West Side Story to Rebel without a Cause, until her tragic death by drowning.

BZZZ

R: Yes, Kathy.

K: Cameron Diaz.

R: Okay, Kathy, what I think we need to do here is to reacquaint you with the rules of the game. See, what this is, is a dead celebrity guessing game. So when....

BZZZ

R: Mitch! You have an answer?

M: James Dean!

R: Uh...no. Sorry.

M: James Dean was in Rebel without a Cause. Also West Side Story.

R: All right. Well, first, he wasn't in West Side Story. And second, he's a man. We're looking for an actress here. A woman.

M: Can we ask the judges?

R: No.

M: Whatever, dude.

BZZZ

R: John. Whattya got?

J: It's Natalie Wood.

R: It...yes! Yes it is!

J: Only she didn't drown.

R: You get 20 points, and...I beg your pardon?

J: She was dead before she hit the water. Poisoned. I know because I was there.

R: I see. Well, nonetheless, your answer is correct, so you're ahead of the game, and...

J: That what they fished out of the water? Weren't even her. No slit throat.

R: We'll be right back.