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I had to work 12 hours again.  Life hates me and I intend to give it such a kick in the neck.
 
ADVENTURES IN REFERRAL:
a daily assortment of random search engine queries leading people to the Ludic Log in the past 24 hours

"words that rhyme with beer"
"origin of the phrase 'shrinking violet'"

"pugnacious charm and meaning"

"motorcycle spikes"

"Democrat Republican metaphors"

"ripper is a gangster"

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"I beat you up"

LUDIC LOG
11.30.2004

All right.  You win.  You people have worn me down.  I'm tired of playing the highbrow artsy-crapsy content provider.  I know what you people come here for.  It's clear every time I look at my referral log.  So this time, I'm going to give it to you.  The following letters went out via today's post.  I will present the responses as they come it.  I'm sure that it will make everyone very happy.

I.

Dear Ms. Walters,

First of all, I would like to thank you for your fine service to the community, both as a member of the Fantastic Four and as a successful attorney.  It is through the selfless efforts of people like you that our nation is made a better place.  I have admired your work for many years, and I can assure you that I write this letter in sincerest good faith.

It has come to my attention that a number of the readers of my popular and widely read website would like to see pictures of you naked.  If the photographs could call special attention to the area of your behind, that would be ideal.  Your attention to this matter would be very much appreciated.

Radioactively yours,
Leonard A. Pierce, Jr.

II. 

Dear Ms. Danvers,

First of all, I would like to thank you for your fine service to the community, both as a member of the Superman Family and as a successful college student.  It is through the selfless studies of people like you that our nation is made a more educated place.  I have admired your work for many years, and I can assure you that I write this letter in sincerest good faith.

It has come to my attention that a number of the readers of my successful and widely syndicated website would like to see pictures of you naked.  If it is possible for you to cover yourself in bodypaint, that would be ideal.  Your attention to this matter would be very much appreciated.

Kryptonically yours,
Leonard A. Pierce, Jr.

III.

Dear Ms. Prince,

First of all, I would like to thank you for your fine service to the community, both as a member of the Justice League and as a successful military servicewoman.  It is through the selfless fighting of people like you that our nation is made a less terror-struck place.  I have admired your work for many years, and I can assure you that I write this letter in sincerest good faith.

It has come to my attention that a number of the readers of my scintillating and award-winning website would like to see pictures of you naked.  I am unsure of the precise details of your relationship with Superman, but if you could possibly arrange to perform fellatio upon him while you are being photographed, that would be ideal.  Your attention to this matter would be very much appreciated.

Amazonically yours,
Leonard A. Pierce, Jr.

IV.

Dear Ms. Nelson,

First of all, I would like to thank you for your fine service to the community, both as a member of the Avengers and as a successful advocate for the Feline-American community.  It is through the selfless activism of people like you that our nation is made a more cat-friendly place.  I have admired your work for many years, and I can assure you that I write this letter in sincerest good faith.

It has come to my attention that a number of the readers of my virile and handsome website would like to see pictures of you naked.  If you could possibly arrange to be making out with another female human-cat amalgam of some sort, that would be ideal.  Your attention to this matter would be very much appreciated.

Danderly yours,
Leonard A. Pierce Jr.

V. 

Dear Ms. Rouge the Bat,

First of all, I would like to thank you for your fine service to the community, both as someone having something to do with Sonic the Hedgehog and, apparently as a government agent of some kind.  It is through the selfless cartoon bat activities of people like you that our nation is made a more, er, a better place.  I have admired your work for many years, and I can assure you that I write this letter in sincerest good faith.

It has come to my attention that a number of readers of my pathetic and unrepentantly geeky website would like to see pictures of you naked.  If you are acquainted with Starfire of the Teen Titans and could persuade her to compare the relative size of her left and right breasts during the photo session, that would be ideal.  Your attention to this matter would be very much appreciated.

Confusedly yours,
Leonard A. Pierce Jr.
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