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Inside: Cultural Sausage. ~ Ludic Lists. ~ Skullbucket. Outside: I
had to work 12 hours for the third
day in a row. Happy December, everybody!
"pee midget pee" "Earthbags" "frog transformation costume" "2004 election morons" "DRIFTWOOD RECUMBENT" "porno hot dog" "vampire ski" "super crime girls in trouble press release how to" |
12.01.2004
"Bloody foreigners." "True." "Bloody Pakis." "True." "You know me, Betsy. I'm no racialist." "Oh, I know, love." "It's not only the Pakis. Nor yet only the fuzzies or the Chinamen or the Arabs or even those fellows from who knows where with the funny colored hats." "No, not only them at all." "It's also them from east Europe, from back behind what we used to call the Iron-Curtain. Why, they're almost white! And yet they're all the same." "Crime. Drugs. Livin' off the dole." "Awful." "Clustered together in their own little ghettos. Buyin' and selling only among themselves like some kind of commune." "It's a disgrace." "Refusing to speak the language. Won't even learn English." "Shouldn't be stood for." "Don't want to assimilate, that's the problem." "Oh aye. That and the smell." "Well, I tell you this, Betsy. I'm not having it. Not anymore." "How's that, love?" "Neither me nor Roger. We're tired of feeling like outcasts in our own country." "How's that, love?" "Well, of course you know the housing market is thriving, my dear." "Thriving you say!" "Our little council flat is now worth rather a bit more than we paid for it." "You don't say so." "We plan to sell it. We'll be living the dream. Just like on the telly." "What dream is that then?" "We're moving to Spain!" "You don't say so." "Oh yes. We've got a lovely little place picked out already, in Santa Cruz de Tenerife." "My word!" "Adios, Rutland!" "But however will you live?" "We've got it all mapped out, dear. We'll be selling real estate to other British people. Simply everyone's moving abroad these days you know." "I had no idea." "And our neighborhood, it's all good people from England! Not a Spaniard for blocks." "But you don't speak any Spanish, Margaret." "You don't have to! That's the beauty of it. You stay with your own kind and it's just like living at home." "Well it sounds like a dream, darling." "Living the dream! That's what they call it." "Still, not entirely unironic, wouldn't you say?" "How's that, dear?" "Oh, never mind." "Bloody Pakis." "True." |
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| TODAY'S DRIFTWOOD: "Look, I really don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive, you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, you've got to make a lot of noise, because life is the very opposite of death. And therefore, as I see it, if you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy, or at least your thoughts should be noisy and colorful and lively." (Mel Brooks) |