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Poetry occupies an interesting position among the arts. It's one of the very hardest to do well, let alone to master; and yet, it's one of the most commonly practiced. Many, many people seem to think that even though they can't draw, dance, make sculptures, act, play an instrument, or even work up a good whistle, they are perfectly capable of writing poetry that someone might want to read and possibly might even enjoy. To save a long screed on this topic, I'll say simply: these people are wrong. I am one of those people who can't write good poetry, and probably the only difference between me and the slam poseur and the aging and sensitive soul with the lavender-scented journal is that I know I suck. However, I admit to a certain fascination with fixed forms. Fixed (sometimes called traditional) forms of poetry -- such as tanka, cinquains, limericks, shih, sonnets, and so on -- are those which have rigorous rules about the form, meter, rhyme scheme, syllabic count, etc., they may contain. And, by one of those odd coincidences that give me fodder for daily log entries, they've been a recurring theme in my life over the last few days. I spoke to my friend James about them on the phone; I finished reading a book of contemporary American poetry in fixed forms; and I read some rant from a guy on a literature mailing list I'm on about how straightjacketed you are when you use them. To which the only response is, well, exactly! That's the whole point. And it's also the reason they appeal to me -- they focus the mind sharply and make you much more economical and precise about your use of language, which generally makes for better writing. (This is the same reason that formalism and structuralism are so appealing to me; they strip considerations of context out of the creation of art, forcing you into a rigid constraint where you're forced to be much more careful about what you do. Not unexpectedly, this often has the effect of making your writing more free rather than more limited.) If you want to play a game where drawing a walk gets you to second base, that's fine; I certainly won't tell you you can't. But whatever you're playing, it ain't baseball. You can also turn an otherwise banal or lifeless bit of humor or observation into something entertaining and funny with fixed forms; and they're uniquely suited to pretty much any topic you want to graft into the structure. Is all this theoretical vaporing just a cheap lead-in to some cheeseball jokey poetry I wrote? You bet your fucking ass. PORNOGRAPHIC CINQUAIN Cum shot Once chance; one take Money; that is the term. It sure costs me, if I blow it -- Too soon. POLITICAL HAIKU Winter brings cold death. Who's that at the podium? Henry Kissinger. KUNG FU SHIH The northern punch, the southern kick -- Or punch down south, and kick up north? I always forget that rule; I only remember -- "kick ass". A LIMERICK ABOUT WINONA RYDER'S RECENT LEGAL DIFFICULTIES A waif with a purse full of pills Blamed a film script on all of her ills. But her technique was iffy; She was caught in a jiffy. She should have just polished her skills. A CLERIHEW ANENT PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING Vincent (Junior) McMahon Is enforcing a strict steroid ban. His employees will soon become elfin As he keeps all the juice for himselfin. HOMELAND SECURITY TANKA Cold, strong western winds Meet hot eastern desert breeze. They hate our freedom, Or so the leaders tell us; Better dump those freedoms. INSTITUTIONALIZED PANTOUM Weekend Paxil leaves me pasty Thursday tranks, delivered hasty Tuesday, Lithium, no warning Friday's downers lie a-borning Thursday tranks, delivered hasty Electro-shock and feeling wastey Friday's downers lie a-borning Give me Prozac, I'm in mourning Electro-shock and feeling wastey Thorazine on Monday morning Give me Prozac, I'm in mourning Wednesday, Valium, sweet and tasty Thorazine on Monday morning Tuesday, Lithium, no warning Wednesday, Valium, sweet and tasty Weekend Paxil leaves me pasty. |
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| QUOTE OF THE DAY: "I loaf, but in a highly decorative and charming manner." (Monte Beragon, in Mildred Pierce) |