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LUDIC LOG

Thanks to Kiz for the inspirato. Also, new Sausage up.

PITCH I

Open on a woman in her office. She's run down and weary. A clock on the wall shows that it's 3:21 PM, but there's still a pile of work to do. Ideally this should be shot in filtered slow-mo, with lots of cuts, so we can get a sense of how fractured and tired she's feeling. She's scribbling some notes on a report as her secretary brings in another pile of folders for her to work on. The voice-over kicks in as she rolls her eyes in exasperation -- let's get someone who does a soothing, competent professional tone, like Ken Nordine, only younger.

ANNOUNCER: Sometimes, just making it through the day can take all the energy you've got.

Cut to the protagonist at home. She's talking on her cell, wearily trying to put together some dinner for the kids while her husband taps impatiently on his wristwatch. He's in a tux. The home set should be very upscale-suburban -- we're trying to skew to the higher demos here. It's now 6:52 PM by the clock, and she looks more ragged than ever.

ANNOUNCER: But with today's busy lifestyles, taking it easy isn't always an option. Where can you find the energy to cope with family, work and social pressures?

Cut to the protagonist in the bathroom of her house. She's changed into formal wear and looks terrific in a little black dress. Just as we make the cut, she's lifting her head from sink-level and throwing it back in front of the mirror, sniffing. She's got a beautiful pearly-white smile on her face.

ANNOUNCER: You can find it in Cocadrine. Cocadrine is a prescription medication from CaliCo Pharmaceuticals that combines the good sense of natural herbal formulas with the advanced technology of contemporary medical research.

In the final scene, our lady and her dapper husband are making the scene at a fancy-dress party in an obviously exclusive hotel ballroom. Although the clock reads well after midnight, she's socializing, laughing, and talking up a storm. The camera should keep her in the center of the shot at all times, so we can see her beautiful, never-fading smile.

ANNOUNCER: If you're suffering from fatigue, social awkwardness, lack of sleep, feelings of insecurity or stress, ask your doctor, pharmacist or employer about Cocadrine...and get ready to take on the world.

PITCH II

Open on a young man, delivering packages for a major delivery company (if we can partner with UPS on this one, that would be ideal). We'd like an 'ethnic' type here, handsome and competent-looking, but not too successful -- the client is going for the broader demo here, if you know what I mean. He's looking a bit down in the mouth; not angry or frowning (we don't want to send a bad signal), but a bit anxious and nervous.

ANNOUNCER: You work hard -- and you play hard. But sometimes, it seems like it'll be a thousand years before you get some time to yourself.

Cut to the protaagonist in the back of the delivery van. He's looking around edgily, stealing glances at the driver, bouncing his knee nervously, and drumming his fingers. (No sweating, please. We don't want a repeat of the Methadryl disaster.) The van pulls up alongside a restaurant and he runs in to drop off a package.

ANNOUNCER: Is there any way that today's active men and women can get the charge they need to get through the working day, while maintaining their focus and drive -- when there's just no time to take a break?

Cut to the protagonist in the bathroom (the client is very insistent about associating its image with bathrooms, but in a positive, tasteful way), holding a pipe up to the mirror. Because of federal regulations, we can't show the smoke or the flame used to light the pipe, so we're really going to need him to sell it here. He should hold the pipe firmly and proudly, but make it look natural; we're selling a feeling, not a pipe. He also needs to look happy and serene, but not laid-back: he should exude confidence.

ANNOUNCER: There is a way, in Pharma-crac. Pharma-crac is a prescription medication from CaliCo Pharmaceuticals that combines the effectiveness of Cocadrine with the proven power of Methadryl in an easy-to-use smokeable rock form.

In the final scene, the hero is finally at home, unloading a plastic grocery back full of vials containing the client's product. With a satisfied, well-pleased smile on his handsome face, he stacks vial after vial in his medicine cabinet, pausing to pick up a vial in one hand and a pipe in the other. He nods knowingly as we fade to black.

ANNOUNCER: Pharma-crac is designed to treat a wide range of symptoms. Ask your doctor, pharmacist, or that guy who always hangs out down by the chicken place about Pharma-crac...the brand you'll come back to again and again.