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12.12.2003
Conrad Z. Wright
The Elite Hotel for Transients
1258 W. Clark Street, Suite #2nd Floor On Your Right with "FAG"
Carved on the Door
Chicago, IL 60657
(773) 288 4904 when not in use by another resident
I have an e-mail address but I don't know how to work it
CONRAD Z. WRIGHT: CURRICULUM VITAE
Education
1992-1994:
Montana State University (Bozeman campus)
Major: Cellular biology; minor: whatever other course let
me sit in the back for free
1982-1991: Bozeman Community College (Bozeman, MT)
Concentration: Student union
1978-1982: Bozeman North High School (Bozeman, MT)
Concentration: hesher studies
Professional Experience
July 2002-present: City of Chicago (Chicago, IL)
Public Aid Research Assistant
Recieve monthly welfare
and public aid checks. Assist social services researchers in
gaguing the effectiveness, efficiency and utility of various
city, state and county programs. Some peripheral support to local
liquor sales and plasma donation services companies.
December 1998-July 2002: Self-Employed (Chicago, IL)
Charitable Giving Facilitator
Provided charitable organizations and individuals with the opportunity
to take part in the giving process. Solicited taxable charity
donations from museum patrons, restaurant-goers and people entering
and departing the White Hen convenience store.
December 1996-December 1998: Guy Who Came And Picked Us Up
In the H.E. Butt Parking Lot Inc. (San Antonio, TX)
Day Labor Trade Specialist
Did various construction-trades work, such as pouring cement
over freshly dug pit filled with quicklime in a remote field
and throwing large weighted sacks into the river, for guy who
picked us up in the H.E. Butt parking lot. Also, H.E. Butt dumpster
food removal.
June 1995-August 1997:
Von Fursten Biomedical Research, Inc. (Bozeman, MT)
New Product Testing Associate
Aided in the development of new biomedical and pharmacological
products. Acted in the capacity of research assistant, reporting
any symptoms, severe pains, drastic alterations in anatomy, or
sudden anti-social thoughts or hallucinatory episodes in little
blue book.
August 1994-June 1995:
Metropolitan Life Insurance Corporation (Bozeman, MT)
Claims Facilitator
Assisted policyholders in the filing of claims by robbing their
homes and vandalizing their cars. Provided material evidence
of crimes which occurred or didn't to aid in the payment of said
claims. Developed plans for sharing of proceeds from claim payment
to self.
References, salary data and contact information for professional
experience can be provided on request, as can criminal history,
if, like, you're really into that kind of thing.
RELATED EXPERIENCE AND SKILLS
I have done many things for money. In fact, you might say I would
do anything for money, up to and including burning down buildings
if I have some kind of real or imagined grudge against the people
who work there. Like, for example, the personnel department.
As my work history shows, I am not a proud man, but I am a hard
worker, and will do pretty much whatever it takes, up to an including
eating as much shit as you feed me and causing direct harm to
myself or others, in order to get wine money. If that's the kind
of quality you're looking for in a senior vice-president of public
relations, Mr. Exxon, then send someone over to the transient
hotel to wake me up, and I'll be there as soon as Family Matters
is over.
Permanent Link.
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