Fresh shots of ironic disaffection.

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LUDIC LOG

12.19.2002

VJ: Welcome back to MTV Cribs, where we're lucky enough to have hooked up with big Suge Knight. He's been gracious enough to let us into his large Las Vegas mansion, after spending a bid in the...

SK: Hey. You see that guy?

VJ: Uh...the one waving his hand back and forth?

SK: That's right.

VJ: Yeah.

SK: When he's doin' that, you askin' the wrong question or sayin' the wrong EDIT. So, watch that nigga's hand.

VJ: Um...okay.

---

VJ: A'ight. This here's big Suge's den and rec-rization room. You can see all the gold albums up on the wall, and the platinum, and all that crazy metal that he dropped with Death Row...

SK: The Row.

VJ: ...right, which is now known as the Row. Now most of these records are from the Death Row years, but...

SK: Look at my man Vince's hand, dude.

VJ: Oh.

SK: You see what he's doin'?

VJ: Okay. Word. But...

SK: Hand.

VJ: Anyway, so...hmm. Well, tell us something about, uh, this couch.

SK: EDIT that couch, EDIT. That EDIT's in the past.

VJ: Uh...

SK: What'd I just say, fool?

VJ: Fine.

---

VJ: Okay, big Suge. What's goin' on in this room?

SK: Well, dude, this is the kitchen.

VJ: It's crazy large, brother.

SK: I do a lot of entertaining and EDIT.

VJ: How many people you usually host at a typical Row bash, yo?

SK: You just touch me, man?

VJ: What?

SK: Some EDIT just touched me.

VJ: I didn't...I...

SK: When I find out who just put they hand on me I'm gonna shove a EDIT pipe up they EDIT EDIT.

VJ: I swear to God, Suge, I didn't...

SK: Somebody did.

VJ: Maybe the cameraman...

CM: Hey, EDIT! Don't be sayin' I did that EDIT!

SK: I want both y'all like twenty feet away from me or I have to hurt somebody.

---

VJ: Now this room looks like it's got something going on.

SK: We ain't goin' in this room.

VJ: But...it looks really interesting. It says "Conference Room". Now what are these, I guess you call 'em shackles, for?

SK: I said we ain't goin' in here. This room is for private business dealings.

VJ: Suge. Please. We got like six minutes of usable footage. It's an hour-long show.

SK: Fool, what did I say?

VJ: Could...could we ask you about that plaque on the wall? Some pretty famous names up there.

SK: Them's people I got to do business with.

VJ: A lot of them are crossed out.

SK: Them's people I don't gotta do business with no more.

VJ: How come?

SK: Because I'm finished with 'em.

VJ: I see Tupac, and Biggie...

SK: Vince!

VJ: Damn.

---

VJ: Well, Suge, we, uh, we appreciate your time.

SK: Right on. Get the EDIT on out of here now.

VJ: Is...is there anything else, any other part of the house you want to show us?

SK: How about the front porch? Maybe you didn't see enough of it on your way up here. Now you can take a look at in your EDIT way out.

VJ: Okay. Hey, what's this?

SK: What?

VJ: Well, the porch is raised. See? What you keep under there?

SK: Look at Vincent's hand.

VJ: No.

SK: What's it doing?

VJ: I can't...

SK: It's waving, idn't it?

VJ: Thanks, Suge.

SK: Hey, no problem.

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QUOTE OF THE DAY: "It is a blessed thing that in every age someone has had the courage enough and individuality enough to stand by his own convictions." (Robert J. Ingersoll)