The Ludic Log: Your Kiss Is On My List

THAT AND A DOLLAR WILL GET YOU...

1. ...one twelve-thousandth of an hour of Alex Rodriguez' time

2. ...most of a Haitian baby

3. ...a kid down at the playground to eat a wadded-up ball of aluminum foil

4. ...six thousand shares of WorldCom

5. ...the words "a cup of coffee" written on a morning newspaper

PROPOSED BARACK OBAMA 2008 CAMPAIGN SLOGANS

1. "Obama bin-Awesome!"

2. "Say it loud, I'm Barack and I'm proud!"

3. "The Democratic president who isn't a Clinton!"

4. "Let's you and me call him 'Bobby Owens'"

5. "He's only sort of black"

ITEMS ON STEPHEN STRANGE'S C.V.

1. Sorcerer Supreme

2. Master of the Mystic Arts

3. Former Chief of Surgery, Connecticut Children Veteran's Hospital

4. keyboards & vocals, Eye of Agamatto, Tongue of Lark (King Crimson cover band)

5. Guinness Book of World Records titleholder, most mini-pizzas eaten in one hour

SHOUT-OUTS

1. Brooklyn! What?!?

2. Yonkers! Huh?!?

3. New Rochelle! Who?!?

4. Tuba City! Where?!?

5. Amarillo! Why?!?

UNPOPULAR COCKTAILS

1. Fuzzy Toenail

2. Rob Zombie

3. Bloody Nipple

4. Non-Consensual Sex on the Beach

5. Screaming Neck Spasm