|
|
|
|
|
ECONOMIC INDICATORS 1. 200 million new jobs created since current administration redefined "appearing in Census data" as a job 2. CEO salaries continue to rise; 'trickle-down' effect coming any day now 3. record amounts of worthless stock issued in fiscal year 2003 4. loss of manufacturing jobs in America = gain in manufacturing jobs in Costa Rica! 5. George W. Bush, cabinent, advisors, family, close friends all doing fine SECRET HISTORIES OF CLASSIC ROCK 'N' ROLL 1. "Louie Louie" is not in fact obscene, but rather in Portugese 2. John Cougar Mellencamp's "Jack and Diane" originally about 'two crazy kids running a high-fashion house in Milan' 3. "American Pie" actually a very lengthly metaphor about U.S. monetary policy in the early 1970s 4. Huey Lewis & the News recorded six albums of nerve-shredding, intense noisecore punk, but it was cleaned up by the record company in post-production against their wishes and released as bland MOR pop-rock 5. Little Richard, Bo Diddley & Chuck Berry all actually the same person; is owed rather significant amount of royalties JUDGING A BOOK BY ITS COVER 1. Tom Clancy's Ghostwritten High-Tech Men's Adventure 2. CBS' Short-Lived 'Friends' Knockoff 3. Craphole, MN 4. I Was a Teen Gross-out Comedy 5. The Sheboygan Fatty Foods Diet POOR-SELLING PORN VIDEOS 1. Little Oral Anwar 2. Butt Fuck Sluts Do Laundry 3. Hot, Squat & Palsied 4. Interiors (hardcore version) 5. Poke Me, Mon! The Movie, with on-screen American Sign Language translation SPINOFFS FROM THE WEATHER CHANNEL 1. The All-Marshall Seese Network 2. The Weather Channel for Shut-Ins 3. Thunderbolts & Sweat: Weather for Men 4. WMC (the Weather Movie Channel) 5. The Weather Channel Antarctica |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|