The compulsive's holiday.

Ludic Log Archives.

02.03.02-05.25.02.
05.26.02-09.14.02.
09.15.02-01.04.03.
01.05.03-04.26.03.
04.27.03-05.03.03.

Ludic Links.

Inside:

Cultural Sausage. ~ Iron Scribe.

Kamera. ~ Ludic Loot.

Skullbucket.

Outside:

Anil Dash. ~ Bettina.

Bitter Drop. ~ Brainslug.

Buried in the Noise. ~ Calamity Jon.

Cap'n Design. ~ Celluloid Eyes.

Circumstance. ~ Count Bass D.

Cubicle Coma. ~ Cursor.

Dreamtime. ~ Eschaton.

Fater. ~ Gene Home Project.

Heath Row. ~ Hulk.

Hullabaloo. ~ Iced Tea.

Inelegant. ~ Jane.

KD Peters. ~ Liz McK.

Logonorrhea. ~ Manning Krull.

Modern World. ~ Monoblog.

Mystery City. ~ Neal Pollack.

Odd Days. ~ Oliver Willis.

Poppycock. ~ Rum Holiday.

Slumbering Lungfish. ~ Stand Down.

Tom Mangan. ~ Toyman.

Tritium. ~ Vitamin B Glandular.

Wasted Irony. ~ World of Pete.

Yuriverse. ~ Zulkey.

LUDIC LISTS

05.03.2003

THE BEST THINGS ABOUT THE STATE-RUN OLD FOLKS' HOME I INTEND TO DIE IN

1. Regular beatings by abusive, underpaid teenage orderlies will allow me to stay in touch with the young people

2. Only the best in affordable institutional cuisine

3. Other impoverished, helpless invalids will be a captive audience for my boring reminiscences about baseball and comic books

4. Finally, a chance to see what's on TV at 4:30AM

5. I won't have to work

HOW THE WORLD WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF GEORGE BUSH HAD STAYED WITH HIS JOB AS OWNER OF THE TEXAS RANGERS

1. Bud Selig replaced as commissioner of baseball by Donald Rumsfeld; Pete Rose mysteriously disappears

2. Upper deck seats rise to a staggering $45 per ticket; oddly, luxury skyboxes undergo equivalent drop in price

3. Bush declares 'you are either with us or against us'; orders fans of Houston Astros detained indefinitely

4. Claiming evidence that Seattle Mariners are corking bats and doctoring balls, Bush orders Alex Rodriguez-led invasion of Safeco Field; Mariners are ultimately defeated and made into AA affiliate of Rangers organization, but Japanese owners are never captured

5. Yankees still win the AL pennant every goddamn year

TAEBO'S INHERITORS

1. Kung Fit

2. Pankratian Pilates

3. Stairmaster Jujutsu

4. Tae Kwon Go!

5. High-Impact Cardio-funk Dim Mak

EMBARRASSING WAYS TO DIE

1. Falling off of tallest building in Lima, Ohio

2. Overdosing on Minoxydil

3. Bleeding to death from safety-scissors injury

4. Head-on collission with Cooper Mini or Vespa scooter

5. Beaten to death by Kate Moss

FOR WHEN YOU'RE TIRED OF HAWAIIAN PUNCH

1. How's about a nice Tahitian stomp?

2. How's about a nice Korean eye-gouge?

3. How's about a nice Icelandic hair-pull?

4. How's about a nice Argentine sleeper-hold?

5. How's about a nice Croatian spinal cord injury?

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