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05.15.2004

DESCENDING ORDER OF PREFERENCE:  COMMANDMENTS

1. Thou shalt not kill

2. Thou shalt not shill

3. Thou shalt not bill

4. Thou shalt not spill

5. Thou shalt not krill

DESCENDING ORDER OF PREFERENCE:  DEADLY SINS

1. Avarice

2. Aftermath

3. Averageness

4. Aphorisms

5. Anfernee

DESCENDING ORDER OF PREFERENCE:  WORDS YOU CAN'T SAY ON TELEVISION

1. Fuck

2. Fudge

3. Fiddlesticks

4. Frig

5. Fulgencio Batista

DESCENDING ORDER OF PREFERENCE:  IMPOSSIBLE THINGS TO BELIEVE BEFORE BREAKFAST

1. That George W. Bush is doing a great job as President of the United States

2. That George W. Bush actually is President of the United States

3. That George W. Bush is doing a great job as President of Honduras

4. That George W. Bush is doing a great job as President of the Motion Picture Association

5. That Ann Coulter is employed

DESCENDING ORDER OF PREFERENCE:  CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENTS

1. The right to keep and bear arms

2. The right to keep unarmed bears

3. The right to bear your cheap arms

4. The right to harm your bare cheeks

5. The right to beep your chair's arms

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