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SLOGANS FOR THE 2002 CHICAGO WHITE SOX 1. Give Us Nine Innings, and We'll Give You Seven Innings of Good Baseball 2. White Sox Baseball: Plenty of Seats Still Available 3. Home of the 2003 All-Star Game (Please Vote for Someone on This Team) 4. Still Better Than the Cubs 5. Where Swoons Aren't Just for June Anymore UNUSUAL SENTENCES FROM LETTERS PEOPLE HAVE WRITTEN TO ME 1. "Now Michael is talking about some wet 'cat' being 'scratched', so I'm moving out of the ejaculation trajectory." 2. "The moral of this story involves not putting tiger posters in your living room if you want it to be elegant or if you don't want a black pouf Pope." 3. "The human body can easily pass a tack." 4. "So here I resort to this Pentel gizmo; quite the enticing pen." 5. "Is he force-fed chutney while watching 'Farewell My Concubine' without subtitles?" UNDERUTILIZED FRUIT FLAVORS IN THE WORLD OF CONFECTIONARY 1. Durian 2. Lingonberry 3. Tomato 4. Mangosteen 5. Aloe ANNOYING BEHAVIORS OF THE PRESIDENTS 1. Chester Alan Arthur: would eat all but three or four crumbled-up chips out of the bag and then put it back in the pantry 2. James Knox Polk: deliberately mispronounced people's names over and over because he thought it was funny 3. Woodrow Wilson: threw trash on the floor in front of the cleaning staff and stood there smirking waiting for them to pick it up 4. Grover Cleveland: waited to fart until he was in a big noisy crowd, apparently in the belief that since no one could hear it, no one could smell it, and besides, with so many people around nobody would know it was him anyway 5. John Quincy Adams: talked about himself in the third person exclusively N.B.A. PLAYERS/CITIES IN AFRICA 1. Mengke/Gagnoa 2. Obinna/Kolwezi 3. Zydrunas/Djanet 4. Olumide/Makokou 5. Hidayet/Karima 6. ZhiZhi/Akim Oda 7. Moochie/Bingerville |
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