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SEVEN DEADLY MUSICAL SINS 1. The Remix Album 2. The Reunion Tour 3. The Third Encore 4. The Drum Solo 5. The Guest Bluesman 6. The Stadium Show 7. The Classical Period UNFORTUNATE COMEBACKS 1. Hesher haircuts 2. Flares 3. Backpacks 4. Leopardskin prints 5. Billy Corgan CLUB WARNING SIGNS 1. Only sells beer in cans 2. Bouncer is an on-duty police officer 3. Unisex bathrooms 4. No bathrooms 5. Fire escape is painted on OMNIPRESENT HIPSTER ARCHETYPES 1. 'Old Guy' (see below) 2. Betty Page girl 3. Fat, hygenically limited street performer who reads his own poetry 4. Drummer guy who just got kicked out of his previous band 5. Embittered woman in her mid-30s who does PR for a big indie label SIGNS THAT YOU ARE BECOMING THE OFFICIAL 'OLD GUY' AT THE CLUB 1. You don't go to any shows with more than two opening bands 2. You secretly pray for an 8PM start 3. You can make a single glass of beer last three hours 4. At least half the girls at an 18-and-older show could, technically, be your daughter 5. You remember before rock and roll, like, died |
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