|
09.13.2003
SEVEN DEADLY MUSICAL
SINS
1. The Remix Album
2. The Reunion Tour
3. The Third Encore
4. The Drum Solo
5. The Guest Bluesman
6. The Stadium Show
7. The Classical Period
UNFORTUNATE COMEBACKS
1. Hesher haircuts
2. Flares
3. Backpacks
4. Leopardskin prints
5. Billy Corgan
CLUB WARNING SIGNS
1. Only sells beer in
cans
2. Bouncer is an on-duty
police officer
3. Unisex bathrooms
4. No bathrooms
5. Fire escape is painted
on
OMNIPRESENT HIPSTER
ARCHETYPES
1. 'Old Guy' (see below)
2. Betty Page girl
3. Fat, hygenically limited
street performer who reads his own poetry
4. Drummer guy who just
got kicked out of his previous band
5. Embittered woman in
her mid-30s who does PR for a big indie label
SIGNS THAT YOU ARE
BECOMING THE OFFICIAL 'OLD GUY' AT THE CLUB
1. You don't go to any
shows with more than two opening bands
2. You secretly pray for
an 8PM start
3. You can make a single
glass of beer last three hours
4. At least half the girls
at an 18-and-older show could, technically, be your daughter
5. You remember before
rock and roll, like, died
|