The Ludic Log: Your Kiss Is On My List

GOOD RESULTS OF WWII

1. Hula hoops

2. Finally determined once and for all what generation was the greatest

3. Less Jews (Germans only)

4. Less Germans (everyone else)

5. Got to name a bunch of consumer products "ATOMIC"

IF PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL TEAMS WERE NAMED AFTER LANTHANOIDS AND ACTINOIDS

1. The New York Samariums

2. The Chicago Thoriums

3. The Detroit Dysprosiums

4. The Cincinnati Mendeleviums

5. The Tampa Bay Ytterbiums

IF STEVEN SEAGAL PUT THE WORD "JUMBO" IN ALL HIS MOVIE TITLES

1. Marked for Jumbo

2. Executive Jumbo

3. The Fire Down Below Jumbo

4. Jumbo Seige

5. Half Past Jumbo

IF PAULY SHORE HAD BEEN A SOVIET SOCIALIST-REALIST

1. A Day in the Life of Ivan Weaselovich

2. Resolutely Pauly

3. The People's Revolutionary Bio-Dome

4. 18-Year Plan Again

5. In the Invincible Soviet Red Army Now

IF NORMAN LEAR HAD BEEN A RIGHT-WING CONSERVATIVE

1. Sanctity of Marriage, American Style

2. F.I.R.E. Pablo

3. All in the Traditional Two-Parent Family

4. Sanford and Illegitimate Son

5. No Gays at a Time