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11.06.2004
FAILED SODAS
1. Dr. Fennel
2. Pocari Spit
3. Royal Crown Deluxe: This'un Ain't Fer You, Small Change
4. Diet Coke with Sprouts
5. Oily Cola
LITTLE-USED SNOOP DOGGY DOGG UTTERANCES
1. Dermatizzitus
2. Autodizzidactic
3. Con brizzo
4. The insertitude of the vizzoid
5. Dennis Kucineeyotch
EXCITING NEW FEATURES IN "GRAND THEFT
AUTO: SAN ANDREAS"
1. Earthquakes
occur at critical points in game (save often!)
2. Players cannot just solicit or pimp prostitutes, but can
receive painful and embarrassing sexually transmitted diseases from them
3. Whenever you kill a policeman or a fireman, a little animated
sprite of John Ashcroft appears in the corner of the screen to remind
you that these civil servants are the real American heroes
4. A whole new assortment of criminal missions available, from
gang recruitment and drug smuggling to illegal software piracy and
misrepresentation of investment gains in a public prospectus
5. Just like in real life, black felon who is game's main
character is prevented from voting
REVELATIONS FROM THE AUDIO
COMMENTARY TO THE GODFATHER
TRILOGY
1. Jerry Lewis originally cast as Don Vito Corleone, but was not
available
2. Line "Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes" originally a
reference to his peculiar sexual habits
3. The Godfather Part III
was itself part of an offer director Francis Ford Coppola couldn't
refus: the offer to again make a movie people would watch
4. In the novel, character of Kay is headstrong, determined, and
interesting, but was changed to dull, naive and annoying the minute
Diane Keaton was cast in the role
5. Nino Rota's classic "Love Theme from The Godfather" a last-minute
replacement when producers could not get clearance rights to Paul
Anka's "Hot Diggety (Boom Ziggety Dog)"
HOW TIRED I AM
1. Bone tired
2. Dog tired
3. Dead tired
4. Tired like a Soviet halftrack
5. So tired I can't even finish this sent |
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