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AARSTEIN'S ZOOLOGIST: THE FUNNIEST ANIMALS IN NATURE, PART 2. N: NENE. Vegetarian duck from Hawaii. Endangered. Comical-looking. Sounds vaguely dirty. O: OCELOT. Narrowly edges the okapi and the extremely funny octopus. Deadly, yet hilarious. Name cane be made into a variety of puns, none of which immediately occur to this author at the moment. P: PADDLEFISH. Native to Mississippi, the second-funniest state after New Jersey. Funny name, can be thematically incorporated into jokes about school, dominatrices, fish. Very, very stupid-looking. Scientific name translates from Latin to "noses like spatulas". Q: QUAGGA. Extinct, but still very funny. Related to the zebra, which see. Even funnier name than the quahog, which isn't pronounced in a funny way. Named by the equally funny-sounding Khoikhoi tribe of Africa. Note: though not technically animals, quadroons are funny. R: RUDDY DUCK. The second most hilarious waterfowl, after the nene. S: STINK BUG. Even funnier than dung beetles. Sometimes called stink beetle, which is almost as funny. Is hemipterous. Emits "disagreeable odor". Name contains the word 'stink'. T: THRENODY. Some people will tell you that not only is the threnody not funny, but that it is also not an animal. Those people are fools. U: UPLAND SANDPIPER. Admittedly, the upland sandpiper is not particularly funny, but its only rial competition is the urial, so it sort of wins by default. The least funny of all the funniest animals, the upland sandpiper is more what scientists call 'quirky' than funny. V: VAMPIRE BAT. Bats are funny; vampires are funny. The funniest animal to children. Say "bleah!" W: WEASEL. It just doesn't get much funnier than the weasel. X: TITMOUSE. There are no animals that start with the letter X in the English language. Therefore, the titmouse has been nominated to fill the void, combining as it does the word 'mouse' and the concept of tits. Y: YAK. Large, ungainly animal. Especially funny when pregnant. Appears frequently in Tibet, which was very funny country prior to Chinese invasion. Name synonymous with vomiting. Z: ZEBU. Type of ox. Big, lunkheaded. Seemingly immune to insect attacks, which is funny for some reason. Has a dewlap and a pronounced fleshy hump. Note that the zebra is only the funniest 'Z' animal when pronounced in Britsh accent: "ZEB-ruh". |
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