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PEOPLE WHO LOST THE JOB OF NOTHINGNESS MASCOT TO JACK SHIT 1. John Crap 2. James Dung 3. Joe Squat 4. Bo Diddley 5. Morris Fuckall YOU WOULDN'T THINK THEY'RE RELATED 1. Werner Herzog & Whitey Herzog 2. George Hurley & Elizabeth Hurley 3. Pitt the Elder & Brad Pitt 4. Jesus & Ivan DeJesus 5. Paul DeMan & you (da man) MUSICAL SUBGENRE HEALTH UPDATE 1. Disco is dead 2. Punk's not dead 3. Doo-wop is missing and presumed dead 4. Free jazz is in critical but stable condition 5. Britpop is doing much better and is currently taking a restorative cure in Basel RENOWNED LAW ENFORCEMENT SPECIALISTS 1. CHiPs (California Highway Patrols) 2. SWAT (Los Angeles Special Weapons & Tactics) 3. Must-Bees (Montana Suspect-Beating Squadron) 4. CHICKEN (Chicago Cops who Kill Everyone, Nearly) 5. NYNEX (New York Negro Executioners) RAP PHRASES THAT HAVE FAILED TO CATCH ON 1. Spladdow 2. Schnikeys 3. Fo-Ziggens 4. Hoo-Dunkin' 5. Ol' Granny O'Dooley's Home-Fresh Dipping-Style Corn-Fed Gangstaz |
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