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11.29.2003
PEOPLE WHO LOST THE
JOB OF NOTHINGNESS MASCOT TO JACK SHIT
1. John Crap
2. James Dung
3. Joe Squat
4. Bo Diddley
5. Morris Fuckall
YOU WOULDN'T THINK
THEY'RE RELATED
1. Werner Herzog &
Whitey Herzog
2. George Hurley &
Elizabeth Hurley
3. Pitt the Elder &
Brad Pitt
4. Jesus & Ivan DeJesus
5. Paul DeMan & you
(da man)
MUSICAL SUBGENRE HEALTH
UPDATE
1. Disco is dead
2. Punk's not dead
3. Doo-wop is missing
and presumed dead
4. Free jazz is in critical
but stable condition
5. Britpop is doing much
better and is currently taking a restorative cure in Basel
RENOWNED LAW ENFORCEMENT
SPECIALISTS
1. CHiPs (California Highway
Patrols)
2. SWAT (Los Angeles Special
Weapons & Tactics)
3. Must-Bees (Montana
Suspect-Beating Squadron)
4. CHICKEN (Chicago Cops
who Kill Everyone, Nearly)
5. NYNEX (New York Negro
Executioners)
RAP PHRASES THAT HAVE
FAILED TO CATCH ON
1. Spladdow
2. Schnikeys
3. Fo-Ziggens
4. Hoo-Dunkin'
5. Ol' Granny O'Dooley's
Home-Fresh Dipping-Style Corn-Fed Gangstaz
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