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TO ALL THE GIRLS I'VE LOVED BEFORE 1. Who've traveled in and out my door 2. Who haven't said that I'm a bore 3. Who put up with my open sore 4. Who I met at the dollar store 5. Not counting that one eight-buck whore THINGS MY LOVED ONES HAVE THROWN 1. A CD player, my head, at 2. A loop, me, for 3. Their clothes, passionately, off 4. A fit, screaming, hissy- 5. Me, for someone else, over BROAD STEREOTYPES BASED EXCLUSIVELY ON WOMEN I HAVE DATED 1. Making out with redheads is like kissing a really sexy ashtray 2. Jews have neurosurgeons for fathers 3. Art school students don't like pickup trucks 4. The average male high school student only has sex once every four years 5. Black women are all named Eileen ALL THE GOOD ONES ARE EITHER... 1. Married 2. gay 3. unable to speak English 4. dead 5. or imaginary BAD PLACES TO MEET WOMEN 1. Strip clubs 2. Prison exercise yards 3. Womens' self-defense training classes 4. Suicide hotlines 5. My bedroom |
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